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Intro:
Welcome to the "Wellness in Every Season" podcast, where we embark on a transformative journey towards achieving total wellness, even in the midst of overwhelming moments. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, and I'm thrilled to have you here.
This podcast is a sanctuary for all mothers out there, and we extend a warm invitation to anyone seeking guidance and inspiration. We believe in fostering an inclusive community where we learn and grow together, supporting each other during life's challenging transitions.
Join us as we step out of survival mode and discover the path to thriving, embracing wellness in every season of motherhood. From sleepless nights to new beginnings, we'll explore practical strategies, share heartfelt stories, and uncover the transformative power of self-care and self-love.
Together, we'll unlock the wisdom, strength, and resilience within ourselves, reminding one another that we're never alone on this beautiful, yet demanding, journey. It's time to prioritize your well-being and reclaim your joy, one season at a time.
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EPISODE INTRO
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Welcome wellness wanderers to episode 20 of Wellness in Every Season with your host, Autumn Carter. This week's episode will be titled, "Supporting Moms: Establishing Boundaries and Embracing Your Needs."
In this episode, we will explore the importance of setting boundaries, managing mom guilt, and embracing your needs, all of which will contribute to your overall well-being as a mother. We will discuss practical strategies and insights that will empower you to create a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
We will delve into different types of boundaries and provide tips on how to establish and communicate them effectively. By learning to set boundaries, you will be able to create a supportive environment that honors your personal space, time, and emotional well-being.
We will address the common struggle of mom guilt and offer guidance on how to manage it. You will discover ways to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion, allowing yourself to prioritize self-care without guilt. Nurturing yourself will not only be beneficial for you but will also set a positive example for your children.
Furthermore, we will emphasize the importance of embracing your needs as a mother. By identifying and honoring what truly nourishes and energizes you, you will be able to create a self-care routine that fits your unique circumstances. We will provide practical tips on how to carve out time for yourself, seek support from your loved ones, and navigate the challenges of motherhood with grace.
Join us in this empowering conversation as we support and uplift moms in establishing boundaries and embracing their needs. Together, we will cultivate a community of resilient, self-loving mothers who thrive in every season of motherhood.
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Key point #1:
Being a mom is an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling role, but it can also be demanding and overwhelming at times. That's why it's crucial for moms to set boundaries to protect their well-being. Boundaries act as safeguards, helping us establish limits and define what is acceptable or unacceptable in various aspects of our lives. By setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, moms can create a nurturing and balanced environment for themselves and their families.
Boundaries come in different forms, depending on individual needs and circumstances. Here are some key areas where boundaries are often established:
Time boundaries: As a mom, it's essential to set aside dedicated time for self-care, personal interests, and relaxation. By establishing time boundaries, you can ensure that you have the space and freedom to recharge and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
Physical boundaries: Moms have the right to determine their personal space and decide who can touch them, how, and when. Physical boundaries help maintain a sense of safety, comfort, and respect. They involve communicating your preferences regarding personal contact and setting limits on physical intimacy, ensuring that your physical well-being is safeguarded. I have a child who was starting to go around kissing without permission and anywhere he could reach, it got awkward fast in our home. I had to teach him to ask first and wait for a yes and someone’s face.
Emotional boundaries: Emotions play a significant role in our lives, and as moms, it's crucial to establish boundaries around our emotional well-being. This means being mindful of our emotional capacity and setting limits on how much we can give or receive emotionally. It involves recognizing our own emotional needs and communicating them effectively to others while respecting their boundaries as well.
Informational boundaries: In an age of digital connectivity, it's important for moms to establish boundaries around the sharing of personal information. This includes being mindful of what information we disclose online or to others and setting limits on what we are comfortable sharing. Informational boundaries help protect our privacy, security, and personal agency. One example is with the sharing of your children’s photos online.
Setting boundaries as a mom can feel challenging at times, especially when it comes to balancing the needs of your family with your own well-being. Here are some strategies to help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries:
Take time to reflect on your needs, values, and priorities. Identify what is truly important to you as an individual and as a mother. Understanding your own needs and desires will enable you to establish boundaries that align with your authentic self.
Clearly express your boundaries to others, including your partner, family members, friends, and even your children. Use "I" statements to assertively communicate your needs and limits, emphasizing how certain actions or behaviors affect you personally. Open and honest communication is key to building understanding and mutual respect.
Prioritize self-care and allocate dedicated time for activities that rejuvenate and replenish your energy. Whether it's engaging in hobbies, pursuing personal interests, or simply taking time for relaxation, carving out moments for yourself is essential for maintaining healthy boundaries.
Learning to say no: It's important to recognize that saying no is not selfish but an act of self-preservation. Learning to assertively decline requests or obligations that don't align with your priorities or values is a powerful way to establish and maintain boundaries. Remember, saying no allows you to say yes to what truly matters to you and your well-being.
Seeking support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of family, friends, or other moms who understand and respect your boundaries. Reach out to them when you need advice, assistance, or a listening ear. Sharing experiences and seeking guidance from others who have navigated similar challenges can be invaluable on your boundary-setting journey.
It's important to recognize that setting and maintaining boundaries is an ongoing process. As you grow and evolve as a mom, your boundaries may shift and require adjustments. Be open to reevaluating your boundaries from time to time and adapting them to meet your changing needs and circumstances.
If you find it challenging to establish or maintain boundaries, or if you have experienced trauma related to motherhood, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor. They can provide support, tools, and techniques to help you navigate boundaries effectively and heal from any past wounds. Episode 19 talked about motherhood trauma, take a listen.
Setting boundaries is not about being rigid or closing yourself off from others. It's about creating a healthy and balanced space where you can thrive as a mom while honoring your own needs and well-being. By establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, you can protect yourself from harm, preserve your sense of self, and create an environment where both you and your family can flourish.
Key point #2:
Boundaries are crucial for maintaining your well-being and avoiding potential trauma as a mom. Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries requires careful consideration and self-reflection. Start by reflecting on your personal needs, values, and limits. Understand what is important to you and what you require to maintain your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Once you know what matters to you, you can begin to identify the boundaries that support those needs.
Pay attention to your emotions as they act as signals when someone is crossing your boundaries. Notice feelings of discomfort, stress, or depletion, as they indicate potential boundary violations. By acknowledging your emotions and their triggers, you can start recognizing and defining your boundaries. Additionally, reflecting on past experiences can provide valuable insights. Consider situations where you felt violated or uncomfortable, as well as those where you felt respected and supported. These experiences can help you identify your boundaries and establish limits accordingly.
Engage in open conversations with trusted friends or family members who can offer perspectives and support as you navigate the process of defining your boundaries. Their insights and experiences can contribute to your understanding of boundaries and assist you in clarifying your own. Seeking their input can be particularly helpful when exploring sensitive topics such as physical touch boundaries.
It's important to understand that boundaries are not always rigid and can involve compromise. While maintaining a clear understanding of your boundaries is essential, flexibility may be necessary in certain circumstances. During family emergencies, for example, you may need to temporarily adjust your boundaries while still upholding your limits within those exceptional situations.
Remember that boundaries can evolve over time. As you grow and learn, your boundaries may need adjustment to align with your changing needs and values. Becoming a parent, for instance, may prompt you to redefine your time-related boundaries.
If you're struggling to identify your boundaries, seek assistance from available resources. Consult with your doctor, therapist, life coach for moms, or a support group for guidance in developing healthy boundaries and learning how to maintain them. They can provide valuable support, tools, and techniques to navigate boundaries effectively. I also have a worksheet on my website under free resources to go along with his episode.
Be patient with yourself throughout the process of identifying and establishing boundaries. It takes time and introspection to gain clarity. Approach yourself with gentleness, knowing that it's acceptable not to have all the answers immediately. If needed, reach out to trusted individuals who can offer guidance and support.
Understanding your boundaries is crucial for your well-being as a mom. By dedicating time and effort to identify and maintain healthy boundaries, you can protect yourself from harm, preserve your sense of self, and reduce the risk of experiencing trauma. If you find yourself feeling stuck or needing further assistance, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me. Together, we can work towards establishing boundaries that prioritize your well-being and happiness.
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Segment: Mindfulness Practice:
Welcome to your mindfulness segment focused on embracing your needs, setting boundaries, and managing mom guilt.
Find a comfortable position, close your eyes if you wish, and take a deep breath in, letting it fill your lungs. As you exhale, release any tension or stress you may be carrying. Let's begin.
Start by taking a moment to reflect on your personal needs, values, and limits. Notice what is important to you as a mother and what you require to maintain your emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Allow these reflections to guide your decisions and actions as you embark on this mindfulness journey.
As you connect with your needs, bring awareness to the concept of boundaries. Visualize yourself establishing healthy boundaries, protecting your time, energy, and emotional space. See these boundaries as gentle yet firm shields that allow you to prioritize self-care, make time for yourself, and create a balanced life for you and your family.
Now, bring your attention to any feelings that may arise. Acknowledge them without judgment, knowing that they are common and natural. Embrace self-compassion and replace self-criticism with kind and understanding words. Repeat the affirmation silently or aloud: "I am a loving and capable mother, and I deserve to take care of myself."
As you anchor yourself in the present moment, incorporate grounding techniques. Feel the weight of your body on the surface you're sitting or lying on. Notice the support beneath you, grounding you to the present moment. Allow yourself to sink into this support, feeling grounded and secure.
Shift your attention to your breath. Take slow, deep breaths, feeling the cool air entering your nostrils, filling your lungs, and then gently exhaling, releasing any tension or stress. With each breath, anchor yourself to the present moment, using the sensation of breathing as a constant reminder of the now.
Bring your awareness to your senses. Notice the feeling of your feet on the floor or the sensation of your body against the chair. Pay attention to any sounds in your environment, whether they are distant or nearby. Allow these sensory experiences to ground you, pulling your focus away from worries or distractions and into the present.
As you continue to breathe and stay grounded, gently scan your body from head to toe, checking in with each part. Notice any areas of tension or discomfort. As you exhale, imagine releasing any tension, allowing it to melt away from your body. With each breath, invite a sense of relaxation and grounding into your entire being.
As we conclude this integrated mindfulness practice, take a moment to express gratitude for the time you've dedicated to yourself and your well-being. Carry the insights, boundaries, self-compassion, and grounding sensations with you as you navigate your journey of motherhood, knowing that you have the inner resources to find balance, presence, and strength.
When you are ready, gently open your eyes, bringing your mindfulness practice to a close.
I hope this mindfulness segment helps you to embrace your needs, set boundaries, and manage mom guilt. Remember to be kind to yourself and to give yourself the space you need to heal. You are not alone in this journey.
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Key point #3:
Maintaining boundaries is essential for your well-being as a mom and it prevents potential trauma. To establish and uphold healthy boundaries, consider the following strategies:
Take time for self-reflection and identify your personal needs, values, and limits. Understand what is crucial for your emotional, physical, and mental well-being.
Communicate your boundaries clearly to others, including your partner, family, and friends. Use "I" statements to express your needs and limits respectfully and assertively. Be honest about what you can and cannot do or tolerate.
Prioritize self-care in your daily routine. Set aside dedicated time for activities that recharge and replenish your energy, such as exercise, relaxation techniques, hobbies, or solitude.
Recognize that it is okay to say no and that you can't do everything. Setting boundaries and respecting your limitations is not selfish but vital for your well-being.
Build a supportive network of family, friends, or fellow moms who understand and respect your boundaries. Seek their advice, assistance, or a listening ear when needed.
Be mindful of people, situations, or media that drain your energy or contribute to negative emotions. Minimize contact with individuals who consistently disregard your boundaries or impose their expectations on you.
Regularly check in with yourself and evaluate how you feel in different situations. Listen to your intuition and acknowledge any signs of discomfort or violation of your boundaries. Trust yourself and take appropriate action.
If you find it challenging to establish or maintain boundaries, or if you have experienced trauma related to motherhood, consider seeking the guidance of a therapist or counselor. They can offer support, tools, and techniques to help you navigate boundaries effectively.
Remember that setting boundaries is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection, self-compassion, and practice. By establishing and upholding healthy boundaries, you can safeguard your well-being, maintain your sense of self, and reduce the risk of experiencing trauma as a mom.
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Key point #4:
When someone starts encroaching on your boundaries, it's essential to address the situation. Firstly, take a moment to acknowledge your feelings. Recognize any discomfort, anxiety, or stress that arises as a result of someone coming close to your boundary. By understanding your emotions, you can move forward and establish limits.
Next, communicate your boundaries clearly. Let the person know that their actions are making you uncomfortable and that they are approaching your boundary. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, such as saying, "I feel uncomfortable when you touch me without my permission." This way, you assert your needs and make your boundaries known.
Setting limits is crucial in maintaining your boundaries. Clearly state what you are willing and unwilling to do. Make it evident that certain actions or requests are outside the bounds of your comfort. For example, you can assert, "I'm open to discussing this topic, but I am not comfortable with physical contact." By doing so, you establish the parameters that others should respect.
In cases where the situation becomes overwhelming, don't hesitate to take a break. Give yourself the space and time to regroup. Whether you excuse yourself from the conversation or remove yourself entirely, taking a break allows you to restore your emotional well-being and regain a sense of control.
Similarly, when someone crosses your boundaries, it's important to take action. Start by acknowledging your feelings regarding the violation. Whether it's anger, violation, or fear, recognizing your emotions helps you address the situation effectively.
Communicate your boundaries clearly to the person who crossed them. Express that their actions have crossed the line and are not acceptable. Using "I" statements, assert your feelings by saying, "I feel violated when you touch me without my permission." By doing so, you assert your right to have your boundaries respected.
Setting limits is crucial in reinforcing your boundaries. Clearly state what you are willing to tolerate and what you are not. Make it known that certain actions are off-limits and will not be tolerated. For instance, you might firmly state, "I am not comfortable with unsolicited physical contact. If it happens again, I will have to end our interaction." This way, you make it clear that your boundaries must be respected.
In situations where the violation becomes overwhelming, taking a break is essential. Grant yourself permission to step away from the situation temporarily. Excuse yourself from the conversation or remove yourself from the environment to regain your sense of safety and restore your emotional well-being.
In various scenarios involving both adults and children, you can apply these strategies effectively. For instance, at a party, if an acquaintance invades your personal space, you can assertively communicate, "I'm feeling uncomfortable. I would appreciate it if you could respect my personal space." When playing with a friend, if a child touches you inappropriately, confidently express, "I don't like it when you touch me like that. Please stop."
Remember, recognizing and asserting your boundaries is essential. You have the right to set boundaries and have them respected. By effectively communicating your feelings, setting limits, and taking breaks when necessary, you establish a foundation of respect and safeguard your well-being.
Lifehack segment:
Welcome to this week’s lifehack segment. Do you ever find yourself feeling drained and overwhelmed during the summer months when the kids are home from school? Balancing their needs, your own well-being, and the desire to create meaningful family moments can feel like a daunting task. But fear not, because I have a solution for you. Welcome to our lifehack segment, titled: The Power of a Babysitter: Embracing Boundaries and Self-Care.
As a mom, it's crucial to prioritize your needs and well-being, especially during the summer when schedules can become hectic. One effective way to ensure you have time for self-care, connect one-on-one with each child, and maintain your sanity is by getting a babysitter or mother's helper. This lifehack revolves around setting boundaries, practicing self-love, and seeking assistance when needed.
To make the most of your summer and keep your sanity intact, consider utilizing a mommy helper not only for regular days but also during family outings and vacations. Having a mother's helper while at the pool, beach, or on vacation can provide you with the space to relax, unwind, and ensure the safety of your children. It allows you the freedom to engage in self-care activities, connect with each child individually, and have uninterrupted conversations with your significant other. By entrusting the support of a babysitter or mother's helper, you can create a more enjoyable and fulfilling summer experience for everyone.
Imagine enjoying a family outing to the pool or beach without constantly worrying about your children's safety or being pulled in multiple directions. With a trusted helper by your side, you can have peace of mind, knowing that your children are well-cared for and supervised, allowing you to savor quality time with them. Additionally, having a babysitter or helper while on vacation enables you to strike a balance between bonding with your kids and having some much-needed alone time or couple time with your significant other. It provides you with the opportunity to relax, unwind, and truly enjoy the vacation experience.
Incorporating a babysitter or mommy helper into your summer routine not only allows you to recharge and focus on self-care but also ensures that your children are well-cared for and safe in various settings. You can set clear boundaries and establish a schedule that works best for you and your family. Whether you need assistance during regular weekdays, special events, or family trips, a babysitter or mommy helper can provide the support you need to maintain your well-being and create a more balanced and fulfilling summer experience for everyone involved.
So, go ahead and explore the option of hiring a babysitter or mommy helper for the summer. You can make this as cheap or expensive as you want depending on who you hire. Sometimes all you need is a relative who is willing to do it for free to spend time with your family. Take this opportunity to establish and reinforce the boundaries that are essential for your well-being. Make sure the person you choose will respect your boundaries. Allow yourself the gift of time, space, and self-care, knowing that by doing so, you are cultivating a healthier and more fulfilling summer for yourself and your family.
Remember, you are deserving of support, and your well-being matters. Embrace this lifehack and make the most of your summer by nurturing yourself and enjoying the benefits of shared responsibilities.
Key point #5:
Teaching your children to make and keep boundaries is an essential aspect of parenting. Boundaries serve as safeguards to protect their physical, emotional, and mental well-being, empowering them to cultivate healthy relationships and shield themselves from harm.
To start, engage in open conversations with your children about the concept of boundaries. Explain their significance and why they matter. Help them understand that setting boundaries is their right and that those boundaries should be respected. Begin by addressing physical boundaries, such as not permitting others to touch them in ways that make them uncomfortable. Additionally, discuss emotional boundaries, emphasizing the importance of not sharing personal information with individuals they don't trust.
Leading by example is crucial in teaching your children about boundaries. Demonstrate healthy boundary-setting behavior by establishing boundaries yourself. When you encounter situations where you don't want physical contact, express your feelings assertively. For instance, you can say, "I'm not comfortable hugging right now." By witnessing your assertiveness, your children will learn that it is acceptable to say no when faced with requests that make them uncomfortable.
Help your children identify their boundaries by fostering open communication. Encourage them to express their feelings and identify what makes them uncomfortable. Aid them in recognizing their personal boundaries and comprehending their significance. Pose questions like, "What situations make you feel uncomfortable?" or "What are some actions you don't want others to do to you?"
Teach your children effective communication strategies to express their boundaries clearly and assertively. Encourage them to use "I" statements while being respectful of others' feelings. For example, they can say, "I don't want to discuss that right now" or "I'm not comfortable with you touching me there."
Support your children when they set boundaries. Assure them that you respect their boundaries and that you are available to assist them if needed. Show them that you trust their decision-making abilities and reinforce your role as a supportive figure in their lives.
If someone disregards your children's boundaries, provide guidance on enforcing them. Teach them how to say no firmly, how to disengage from the situation, and how to seek help if necessary. For instance, you can instruct them on saying something like, "I have already told you I don't want you to touch me there. Please stop." This makes me think of the super awkward butt slaps that adults used to do to kids when I was young. Let’s not perpetuate a cycle like that.
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a gradual process that requires time and practice. Be patient with your children and offer support as they learn this invaluable skill.
Use age-appropriate language when discussing boundaries with your children. Tailor your language to their comprehension level and emphasize that it is okay to refuse if they don't want to do something.
Make learning about boundaries enjoyable for your children. Engage in games, read books, or watch movies that address the topic in a fun and interactive manner.
Consistency is key. Establish boundaries for yourself and your children, and consistently uphold them. By doing so, you demonstrate the importance of boundaries in daily life.
Teaching your children about boundaries equips them with the tools to protect themselves and foster healthy relationships. Engage in conversations about physical, emotional, and informational boundaries, adapting your approach to align with your cultural context. Through these efforts, you empower your children to navigate the world with confidence and self-respect.
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Segment: Coaching Questions
Here are some coaching questions to help you ponder where you are and what you need to change throughout this week.
What are your personal needs, values, and limits as a mother?
What are some ways you can prioritize your needs?
How can you be more kind to yourself and give yourself grace?
What are some types of boundaries you can set for yourself?
What are some challenges you've faced in setting boundaries?
How can you manage mom guilt in a healthy way?
What are some resources available to help you embrace your needs, set boundaries, and manage mom guilt?
What are some ways you can take care of yourself each day?
Who can you ask for support in setting boundaries and managing mom guilt?
What is one small step you can take today to embrace your needs, set boundaries, and manage mom guilt?
I hope these questions help you to reflect on your needs, set boundaries, and manage mom guilt in a healthy way. Remember, you're not alone in this journey. There are many resources available to help you, and you deserve to be happy and healthy.
CLOSING REMARKS & EPISODE SUMMARY
Episode summary:
Thank you for joining us on this insightful episode of "Wellness in Every Season" with host Autumn Carter. We delved into the crucial topics of supporting moms, establishing boundaries, and embracing their needs. Throughout the episode, we explored practical strategies and provided guidance to empower mothers in creating a healthy and balanced lifestyle.
We emphasized the importance of setting boundaries to protect one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Managing mom guilt was also discussed, with an emphasis on shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion. Embracing personal needs as a mother was highlighted as a vital aspect of self-care.
As we wrap up this episode, we invite you to carry these valuable insights with you as you continue your journey of motherhood. Remember, setting boundaries, managing guilt, and prioritizing your needs are ongoing processes that require patience and self-compassion.
Next week, we have a special guest, Tanisha Shedden, joining us to discuss trauma survival mechanisms and how to break free from them. Tanisha Shedden is an experienced trauma therapist who will provide valuable insights and practical tools to navigate the impact of trauma and develop resilience.
Be sure to tune in for this enlightening conversation as we explore trauma survival mechanisms and uncover strategies to overcome them. Together, we can foster healing and growth as we continue our wellness journey.
Thank you again for being a part of our vibrant community. Remember to prioritize your well-being and embrace every season of motherhood with grace. We look forward to connecting with you next week.
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Outro:
Thank you for joining us on this week's refreshing wellness discussion. I'm Autumn Carter, your guide through the seasons of motherhood, and I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights during our time together.
If you resonate with the topics we explored today and want to continue your wellness journey, I invite you to follow me on Instagram at Moms Wellness in Every Season. There, you'll discover a wealth of ongoing wellness tips specifically curated for moms like you.
Sharing our podcast with others is an act of caring, and I invite you to spread the word by sharing, subscribing, and leaving a review wherever you enjoy your podcasts. Your support is deeply valuable to us and enables us to reach more mothers who are seeking transformation and empowerment.
If you have a specific topic you'd like us to cover in more detail or if you're interested in a free coaching consultation, don't hesitate to reach out. You can send me a direct message on Instagram or visit my website, wellnessineveryseason.com, to send an email. I'm here to support you on your wellness journey.
Thank you again for being a part of our vibrant community. I'm genuinely excited to connect with you, hear your stories, and continue this important discussion in the weeks to come.
Until next time, remember to prioritize your well-being, embrace every season with grace, and always strive for wellness in every aspect of your motherhood journey. Take care, and I can't wait to catch up with you soon.
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