Episode 46: Grief, Self-Love, and Law of Attraction with Marie-Eve

Marie- Eve Mongrain

Intro:

Welcome to the "Wellness in Every Season" podcast, where we embark on a transformative journey towards achieving total wellness, even in the midst of overwhelming moments. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, and I'm thrilled to have you here.

This podcast is a sanctuary for all mothers out there, and we extend a warm invitation to anyone seeking guidance and inspiration. We believe in fostering an inclusive community where we learn and grow together, supporting each other during life's challenging transitions.

Join us as we step out of survival mode and discover the path to thriving, embracing wellness in every season of motherhood. From sleepless nights to new beginnings, we'll explore practical strategies, share heartfelt stories, and uncover the transformative power of self-care and self-love.

Together, we'll unlock the wisdom, strength, and resilience within ourselves, reminding one another that we're never alone on this beautiful, yet demanding, journey. It's time to prioritize your well-being and reclaim your joy, one season at a time.

[Music]

Autumn Carter: Hello, welcome to wellness in every season. This is episode 46. And today I have with me Marie-Eve Mongrain and she is a coach and I will let her introduce herself now.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Hi, thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be here with your community. So yes, I'm Marie-Eve Mongrain It's French from Quebec and my business is Marie-Eve Mongrain mindset life coach.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I help people work their mindset, but I'm branching out to self love . I teach a lot of attraction and everything is energy. And as we love ourselves more, we are a magnet to more opportunities, more blessings. And that's why I help people allowing their perfect dream reality.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I'm a single mom of two at the moment. My husband passed away of cancer six years ago. And so it's been a emotional rollercoaster. With this journey, I actually got to learn more about myself, to love me more deeply, because I noticed that I had a lot of self hatred, a lot of guilt, and lots of I'm not good enough, and I know a lot of moms also have these feelings, and now by doing the inner work to see my worth, I can teach people how to see their own worth as well.

Autumn Carter: The reason why I decided to have her on is because of her journey through widowhood. It goes really well with what we're talking about with death. I recently interviewed a death doula. We talked about how hard it can be to be a mom with young children and also caring for elderly parents, and you just felt like the greatest end cap for this and talking about widowhood and your journey through that. So do you mind telling us a little bit more about that and what you would tell your past self when you're going through that?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I first thing I would tell her is everything is always perfect. Things are happening for you and not to you. I loved him so much and he was my world. I had to be honest with myself later, like a couple years later and say, Oh, he was not my dream man.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: He was. And there was a lot of things that were like, when we were together, as much as it was amazing I wish it was more romantic. I wish it was more of this. I wish I received more of that. And it's Oh, this is God giving me the chance to have that dream man and to have that dream life.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Because when he passed away, a lot of good things I want in my life actually just happened like this. I did feel a lot of guilt in feeling good and feeling happy, but it's just to acknowledge and validate. That all our emotions are valid, even if other people might not agree.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So it was a muscle cancer. It started in his butt cheek. My oldest daughter, she was one year old. And I just learned I was pregnant with my second daughter. And then five days later, we learned that whatever was in his butt was a cancer. And I was ready for some reason. I was ready for that.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I received guidance from source to be prepared for what was to come. And so I was ready when we had bad news or almost always ready. And just to Tell me that I am worthy and I have value and I deserve to be there and I have my place Because all this time I was getting like oh his parents are losing their son, oh my kids are losing their, all my friends are losing their friend, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I never saw my own worth like I was losing my husband. Energetically, everybody has to put you last as well because the world is a mirror of how you treat yourself. So the more you love yourself and the more you value yourself, the more the world will value you.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And so I wish I knew that then, because I would have been treated way differently by family members, by other people and by myself, I was the worst. I was the worst. I was Treating myself so bad in my head. It was horrible. Like feeling like you're not good enough, not doing enough. That was a burden.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Even if I was super woman and doing all of it, I still believe I didn't do enough. When the truth was I did enough the entire time. And to give myself that love and compassion. It's been six years of a journey, but I'm giving it to me now and I want to cry now because the way I was treating myself was so horrible.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It was a stage three rhabdomyosarcoma, and three months later, it was a stage four, and that was the one appointment I missed, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: When you want to feel guilty and in anything, you're going to find a way to be guilty. I went to all his appointments, except that one time I was tired, I was three months pregnant, my daughter was napping, and then he comes back, it's the only time he went by himself, and he come back, and he's like.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Yeah, not so good news. I have 4 percent chances of surviving 5 years. I obviously started crying wait, what? And then just lost it. And I cried for 3 days. But the worst, I was like, you could have called me, and I could have gone and picked you up. I was not there for you.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Man, this was the worst. Not that he was dying, it was the worst that I was not there, because my goal was to be there every time, in case something happened, so he had the support. I felt guilty about not being there, because every time I was there, we had good news. Every time I was there, even at the end, in the last three weeks, when I was there, it was at peace, things were going well.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: One thing I wish I knew then was that my belief created my reality. The difference between hoping and knowing. If you know you're going to heal, and that's why I teach people is the energy between the words that we use, right? We hope he's going to heal. But if you go with your hope, do you hope the sun's going to rise tomorrow? You know it. We know. We had hope that he would heal. I'm like, 4%, he can still heal.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: He can still be part of those 4%, right? But if he didn't have that belief, there was nothing I could do about it, right? So I had to learn to dissociate myself from his own thoughts and create my own reality. I knew he could do it, but I was doing everything in case he didn't survive, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: We made so many videos souvenirs, handprints, and stuff that we, as many souvenirs as I could, because I said, I don't have a choice, he's dying, but I will make sure that he gets the best end of life possible. I'm going to give it to him. And so for him, when he had cancer, he said, I don't have control that I have cancer. I don't have control on my diet, but I have control on my attitude and I choose to be happy. And so that's what I chose. So every time there was a new tumor you know what?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: That's better now than in two weeks, because that gives you more time with us. Being able to go through CT scan and stuff very quickly, even though there was a new tumor, which means something we had to change chemo that means we would still have some more time because we found it now and not later, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I was always finding ways to transmute this stuff, I was doing it for him. But in the end, it got me to be in a more gratitude, more grateful place and to enjoy my last time because for three days, the first when he told me he had 4 percent chances of surviving five years.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I cried for three days I had my hand on my belly, seeing my baby moving. I was crying. I would see my one year old. I was crying. Seeing old people on the street, crying. People walking and holding hands with a big family. I was crying watching TV. Because I'm like, I don't get to have that.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: But the truth is, I did. I do get to have that. Just not him, right? So it's important. I had to put myself back in my shoes. And not in his shoes or in anybody else's shoes. That's that took a lot of work because I had to acknowledge that my needs in my life also had value and I was still here, but that's a five year work right there, but after three days of crying I said you have a choice.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: You can cry until he dies, which could take one week, one month, three years. You could actually heal, or you can just enjoy him as he's here now and then cry when you get to that bridge. Would I choose to suffer for X, Y, Z amount of time when I don't know, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And what if he survives? I would have cried just for nothing. Those three days were worse than when he actually passed away. It was worse than when I actually went through all of the stuff later on with my kids. Because it was my anxiety, my imagination went to the worst case scenario and already feeling things I didn't have to feel in the present.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So I had to learn to be in the present and appreciate what I had now. That for me, that was part of my journey. And later on, I felt guilty because I was happy, like I received a nice inheritance. Life was going well. I had a big house. I was back in Quebec. And I'm like, things are going so well, I'm so happy.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And then I met someone and I started feeling guilty. I should be sadder. My husband died, man. What are you gonna think? I didn't love him. People didn't tell me any of that. I was telling myself these things in my head, and I was transposing my own belief about myself onto others.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: What are they gonna think? They're gonna think I'm this, gonna think I'm that. And I had to learn that the only validation I need is mine. What other people think is just a reflection of how much they have met themselves. I had to learn to say, Screw that. What do I think of me? And that was hard because I was a people pleaser before.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And that's mom, you want to please your husband, you want to please your kids, you want to please , everyone. And we put ourselves last and that's no more. And I know I had to go through this because I discovered the law of attraction.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I discovered, I created my reality and I'm like, Oh, I can see when I thought this happened when I thought this, the results of this test happened to be that way, right? I could see after the fact, and that's why things happen exactly when they're supposed to happen. So that helped relieving a lot of the guilt of no, there's nothing I could do that.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I did not know if I was to know, I would have done it, but I didn't know about the law of attraction. Now it's Oh, it was just perfectly orchestrated by source.

Autumn Carter: How is he not your dream boat guy?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I was very happy, at the time he was my dream guy. What I knew about love. He always supported me. I did not accept myself first of all.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So I was not my dream self. I cannot attract my dream man if I am not my dream self, if I have self hatred, I'm going to be codependent on someone who's giving me attention in love, but it was great. It was what I needed then. I still had oh my God, there's other guys that are cute, but I would have never cheated on my husband, ever.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I'm too loyal for that. I would have given my life to stay with him. Because it was like, good. It was not bad. We never had fights. We never had conflict. It was always going very well. My birthday, I never had really much surprises.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I was my masculine energy, I was the leader in our couple. I was not my feminine receiving energy, and I didn't know about these things before. But my dream man is taking the lead. He's the one providing, he's the one making surprises. And doing all of the things that I was doing to my husband, and I was doing everything.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I thought that my worth was from what I was doing but I was craving a man who would take the lead. We did take dance lessons, but I was the leader. Didn't have the rhythm and he was not romantic. Sex was not that great.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: We did what we could but there was a part me that was craving to be more desired, have more passion. But again, at the time I'm getting the safe place. He was not all I wanted as a provider, but also I was not able to receive more. So I learned later on that my capacity of receiving is what gets the guy to give. So if I'm not able to receive, the guy cannot give me . I was like, Oh, no flowers. No, thank you. We say, Oh, I don't want this. No, thank you. But deeply inside, I'm like, come on, just give me flowers.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Every time I would say no to something, there was a part of me that didn't believe I was worth it. Don't spend 50 bucks on a bouquet of flowers for Valentine's day. Wait the next day. But I noticed that all my parents were treating me too right? So it's all comes down to childhood stuff. But the more you see your work, you're like, I wanted those, sorry, I wanted those flowers.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: He didn't know me much I was the one pretty much getting my Christmas present. I had to tell him before he died, Hey, it's Mother's Day. Would be great if you did me like some little hand notes so that when you die I can read them. That kind of thing, I had to tell him what to do. Then I'm like, I wanted someone who would just leave me a note who would just do these things for me without me having to tell him. And so when he passed away, I'm like, this is God giving me a second chance of finding someone who's exactly what I want.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I was very happy and we had our family with our two kids. We look great. We had fun. He did a lot of things for me too, like we, I used to play curling and he joined me and we had our team and we used to dress up like we had a lot of fun. We were more childish.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It was like simple, easy, loving, but deep down there was a part of me. I was like, Oh, I have to remind them again. I have to be like, I might as well do it myself. My husband was the first guy who actually showed interest in me when I was 19. I never had a boyfriend in high school. I never had anything. And he's the first guy that everything lined up perfectly. He loved line dancing. I did too. Everything was like our journey. I can tell the universe had planned that before, like the way we met, it was just synchronistically, so that's why I know I don't regret it.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And, but I'm happy it was part of my journey to find for me to receive love as much as I could and as much as I knew what love was then. But now I know the more I love myself, the more I'm going to receive someone who's going to be a match to that. But that's how I, it's after he passed away that doing all this work of oh man.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I do deserve someone better. It's not, he's good and he's not good, but just, I deserve someone who is a perfect match to my desire. And my desires are worthy of being achieved. And God knew, no doubt. I didn't know. I didn't believe I was worthy of it. It's just now by doing the work, I'm like, Oh, I don't think it would have worked out.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: The growth that I've had in the past six years. I think we would have divorced. Who I am now is not the same person I was when I was with him, and I love who I am, and I speak up, and my needs are important. And I know if he was a match to growing with me, and becoming the man of my dream evolving with me, he would still be alive today.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So I have a feeling that his journey, his soul journey, was to bring me to that point. And then that's it. And I changed energy and we're just not a match anymore. And that was the best that could happen because if we would have divorced, I would probably have stayed near where he was. In the north for the kids, I would have put my own dreams aside for my kids to have their dad in their life. The God gave me a beautiful gift of he always gets to be with us all the time. I get to live my dream life and go wherever I want, to have my kids full time.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: My dream man will sing me beautiful, romantic song. I got our wedding down South. We won a game and it was like a couple's game and they said, okay, now sing a beautiful song to your wife. It was our wedding day. And he sang. I'm a little teapot, short and stout. It was funny and cute, but man, it's I deserve a romantic song. There was a lot of good things, but also it's oh no, I deserve the grand gesture. And I did, I deserve to be seen and showed off. And that's what I want.

Autumn Carter: Don't we all deserve that, but we struggle with feeling like we do, knowing that we do, even deeper than feeling, knowing. And you talked about how it comes down to loving yourself. Tell me more about that and how that goes in with law of attraction.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So everything is energy and how we feel about ourselves gets reflected on the outer world. If you want to change your husbands. You gotta change within what you can receive because you're only receiving what you're allowing yourself to receive. If I hate myself and you know that little inner critique, that little inner speech, Oh, you're not good enough. You're a burden. You're this.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I used to tell myself that. I used to believe my eyebrows are not done, man. The guy's not gonna like me. Oh, what kind of clothes am I wearing? I used to. put myself down. And because I was putting myself down energetically, everybody who was talking to me or leaving, even guys I would talk to, they would ghost.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I'm like, Oh, it means I'm not good enough. I always assumed that whatever other people did was because I was not good enough. And then I'm like, Oh, you did this. You did that to me. No, somebody can bully you. They're going to say one time you're ugly. But you believing it is what hurts you . Now I know I'm pretty, I'm awesome, and I'm hot, and I'm this.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So somebody said you're not pretty that's your opinion. I find myself pretty incredible, thank you, right? So it doesn't hurt anymore. The only reason somebody's comment hurts me is because I believe it. So if I'm like, oh my god, my kids think this of me, and it hurts, because I believe it.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: The more you love yourself, the more you become your own validation . People's word will change, people will say other things . Yeah. Thank you. Yes, you're right I am so pretty. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Thank you. It's true and so the more you love yourself, your energy right radiates because the world is a mirror of how you treat yourself.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: If I treat myself badly others will treat me badly, but if I start treating myself like I'm worthy and I'm valuable and I respect myself, I will attract people who do the same. Therefore I'm going to attract blessings and I'm going to be more open to seeing the blessings and everything. I'm going to have more gratitude towards others and towards me, and love myself unconditionally.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: The more I love myself unconditionally, that means I don't judge myself. Oh my God, I'm a bad mother. I did this. Oh my God, I feel guilty. I should not have done that. It's no, my God, I did the best I could then and I will love myself. And I started to love myself the way I want to be loved by my dream partner.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So if my hair is all like this. And so I'm saying, Oh my God, I'm sorry. I have a bad hair day. I'm going to be like, Oh my God, you look gorgeous. My guy will be like, you look the most divine. I'm going to talk myself to myself that way. No matter what part of me that I find ugly or that I don't like, even my behavior, it's Oh my God, that was amazing.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Because at one point, our inner child just wants to be loved and accepted by herself, not by our mom, not by our husband, not by our kids, by ourselves. Our inner child lives within us. Us, we want to be accepted by ourselves. The more I love me, the more I attract good things. Because energy goes where you focus.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So if you focus on all the bad things, your activity reticular system in your brain is only seeing what you're telling it to see. The bad things. So you're like, oh my god, the world is going down to shit. Oh my god, this is horrible. But it's not horrible. The lenses that you're wearing so you see yourself that way and as you see yourself as this beautiful divine being. You're seeing everything with that lens even people do bad stuff, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Because there's no good or bad everything in life is neutral and it only has the meaning that you give it and as you see yourself more with a loving lens, you start seeing everything with loving lens and you're changing energy. So if you go on Google and Google Emotional frequency scale, you're going to see the different emotion and they all have an energy number.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So a frequency, like a radio station. And if you feel sad and you feel despair, you're at the low part. And then the more in healing, especially the more you love yourself, love is going to be like at the top of the scale. But I oftentimes Oh, I'm not at the loving stage. I'm still angry.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I shouldn't be angry for this. I'm still sad. And we beat ourselves up. Stay in the lower vibration and the more we can see. Oh, my God. I was despair and now I'm angry and you see they have different numbers that oh my god I'm healing Angry is better than sad and the more you can acknowledge that little increase in your energy and your vibration, you're going to see you're attracting different things. When you're angry you're going to see your kids, they're going to have behavior that's going to make you angry But it's not your kids or your husband that make you angry.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It's because you feel angry within that you're attracting these behaviors. So if you feel love within the same behavior, be like, Oh my God, so loving. I feel so loved because it's just on what frequency you're in. So the more you love yourself, you're gonna be like, I don't want to feel like shit anymore.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I want to feel good. No matter what's happening around me. Even if I see a homeless person or even if something is bad over there, I still choose that more than feeling good. And I choose to feel good right now with nothing else other than just me choosing it. And the more you love yourself, then your reality has to change.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: You're going to see different things and you're going to attract different synchronicity that will change because your world is just a projection of how you feel with it. And you're going to attract different evidence of what other people will attract.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Like just this morning, we're at the library playing and I said, Oh, let's just go to the playground. And on our, with the playground, there's this little mini library that you can take a book, leave a book kind of thing.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: There's a beautiful brand new book that's like a course of love and I'm like, oh my god is thank you universe for this amazing gift, right and I'm on the love frequency But for a long time I was on the guilt frequency. I was on the sadness frequency. Yeah, and I'm like, okay Everything is just triggering a childhood wound. Just like even my kids behavior It's not the behavior that's bad.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It's not my partner's behavior that's bad. It's how it makes me feel. And as your knowledge, how you feel, because your emotions are important. Oh, I shouldn't feel that way. Huh? According to whom? According to whom should I not feel that way? So it's always, I shouldn't do that. Then you're like, Oh, according to whom?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Oh, I'm the only one deciding that then. I'm going to choose different for me because I deserve to feel good right now. We think by getting something new, by getting the house that job, we're going to feel good. But we get to feel good right now by choosing it. That's a choice. And when we can, when we choose it then the universe is like, Oh, she wants to feel good?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Let's bring her more things to feel good about, right? Because it's always a choice. And then when you make a different choice on your belief, you're going to attract the evidence of that new belief. But you have to make that choice that this is something you want. The evidence will come, the studies will come after you made that choice that will prove you right.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Because no matter what you believe, you're always right. So if you believe the bad things are going to happen, you're right. If you believe the good things are going to happen, you're right. So as I'm walking here, I get to choose that, oh my god, with no evidence, maybe something bad is going to happen when we walk in the library.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: No evidence, right? I could start having that anxiety. And, or now I can say, huh, what if I meet the man of my dream as I'm walking in? I get to choose how I'm going to feel walking in. So it's always a matter of with zero evidence, what do I want to be proven right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: That it's going to end up well, but it's going to end up not well, right? Cause no matter what I'm right. And I noticed that when my husband had cancer, Oh, like always added doubt. I don't think the result will be good. Guess what? I was right. And I know later, all I had to believe was the opposite, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And so each, him too, like I'm not taking the whole blame for myself, but it's just every time it's 'What do you assume?', Because whatever you assume with the law of assumption, whatever you assume is true and you will be proven right. Even though you think your husband is cheating on you. Stop thinking that because it's going to manifest, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: If you think somebody's going to cheat on you, it's because you don't think you're good enough. That's all it says. If you think something bad's gonna happen, it's cause you're not worthy of having health, of being wealthy and healthy and whatever.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It just tells us about what you believe about you. Cause you're the center of the universe and all your needs are important. Because without you, nothing exists. Your consciousness is one unique perspective and without you being alive, without you being the most important person in your life, before your own kids, cause if you die, You're not even there for anything, to witness anything else, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: At first you're like, Oh my God, so narcissistic right? I was afraid, I was like, man, am I the narcissist? Am I this is awful I'm thinking of me first Oh, we've been taught to help others. If you're nice to others and nasty to yourself, and you press your boundaries, and you're doing things you don't want to do, are you really a kind person?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: You are someone on the planet worthy of being loved by yourself. So I have to love myself the way I loved others, the way I want to be loved. I got to give that to me first.

Autumn Carter: How is that different from narcissism? Go there a little bit. And then after that, I want you to talk about you said you learned to honor your feelings as they came up and to not feel shame for taking space and having needs. So talk about the difference between narcissism and then talk about that part.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I care about how I feel first. If I'm gonna hurt someone, it's gonna be you over me. If making a choice, can you come here or no? Can you come and help? Sometimes I'll say yes to not hurt a person, but I didn't want to be there. So I was hurting who? Me. So I'd rather now say no, because I will honor me and what I actually want to do.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Not, because I would go to not feel guilty and to not lose a friend. That's codependency, right? So now I choose me. And when you go in the spiritual world, we are all God consciousness. All of us are connected to source. And yeah, we are all gods. The one thing is when they say I'm God, It only triggers that you don't believe you're God, you don't believe you have power because God has power.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And when you feel powerless, anybody who feels empowered and who feels powerful, and they say, yeah, I'm God, it's yeah, now you're thinking, God, are you going to make it happen? The universe will make it happen. When you have a thought, an idea inside of you that's so grand. People are like, oh my God, like, how are you going to make it happen?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I don't have a plan. I don't know how. And because I've watched a lot of stuff on TikTok about those things. But then it's oh, they make you feel like you're not good enough because you think you're not good enough. They don't say you're not good enough. And every time there was a conversation, you're the one staying. You're the one choosing to stay with someone who doesn't value you because you don't value yourself enough to leave. So at first, when I think about me, I'm like, am I being mad? When I was angry, allowing myself to be angry. I felt like a bad person. They were, not being nice to me, and I felt angry, and I felt like I was the one abusing them for whatever, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: When you start thinking about yourself and how you feel, and that it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be sad, it's okay to to be upset. But then you're like, Oh, so that means even if it triggers someone, Oh, so you think I'm not good enough? I never said that, but now you're thinking it and you gotta stop taking that on because it's going to trigger as you love yourself.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: People cannot use you anymore. So they have to find a way to keep you down, because as you love yourself, you're elevating. But people who are not ready to change and take ownership for their own behavior and their own lack of love, they're gonna still blame you, because now you're triggering that they're not doing things for themselves.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Oh, but I gave my all for you and that's how you thank me? Yeah, you're the one who gave your all. And not kept anything for you, right? , because now we're sad, because the other one didn't give back. But the other one energetically cannot give back to us because we're not giving to ourselves.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It's all energy. So we're trying to match that. At first you feel guilty for saying no when you've always said yes. Man I'm a bad person and I'm saying no to help someone else, right? But you can't help others if you can't help yourself. It's I'm finally gotta replenish from within.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Other people, the entire planet could love on you and say you're good enough and amazing. If you don't believe it, you'll always be doubting their words. You'll always say you're manipulating me. You're always gonna doubt what they're seeing because you don't believe it. You don't believe you're worthy.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: You don't believe you're good enough. You don't believe you're lovable. So it doesn't matter, right? At first it feels guilty to start saying no. I cut links with my in laws. I cut links with a lot of people. And it feels shitty because I always said yes. But I always said yes and it felt uncomfortable.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So am I the one? No, you're not. Because now you're valuing your energy. You have value. And now you're starting to think of you, and some people will make you feel guilty for doing that. And that's where you have to say, I am more important than you. If me saying no hurts you, then I'm gonna hurt you, not me.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Because I deserve my own love.

Autumn Carter: I think it's saying, I am more important to me than you are to me. So it's not, I'm more important than you, period. It really came to me for my own understanding, because I grew up with a narcissistic father. When you love yourself enough, you're spreading that love.

Autumn Carter: You're wanting to share that love with others, where narcissism is not that. They don't love themselves enough, so they're trying to siphon it from other people. That's what came to me when you were talking.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: The thing is, they cannot siphon anything out of you if you don't let it happen, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Someone can take something, but because I was a giver, oh, I'm a giver. Oh, I'm so nice. I'm going to give to you. And oh, they just keep taking and taking. Because you keep giving and giving, right? And that's the thing, oftentimes when there's a narcissist, there's a codependent, and that codependent wants to be loved.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Both of them want to be loved for who they are. And both of them come from childhood wounding. Even the narcissist if they treat us that way, imagine that child, that your father or your mother, when they were five years old, asking to be loved by their parents. Their parents never give it to them, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: They grew up like that. And then I started having a lot of compassion for everyone. So it's oh, you had a lack of love. I had a lack of love. That's why I was being so nice and stuff. I was being so nice and it's not conscious.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It's oh, we're both looking for love. I was giving freely, hoping you would give back and you were just taking. Somebody cannot take if I don't give. Energetically. So the problem was not that they were taking and taking it's that I was giving and giving, and when we take ownership of that, it's like, Oh, I can see where they kept taking, I kept giving.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: I can't blame someone for always taking. If I'm always giving and being okay.

Autumn Carter: I think what really goes with what you're talking about is you had to cull or prune your garden as a metaphor that I used in a previous episode, you had to cut things out and that included people to allow for the good to come back in.

Autumn Carter: With cutting out your in laws and different friends and people in your life because you were changing and evolving and they weren't evolving with you and they were continuing to be the takers as you were saying. So I really like that and you need to give yourself space for that.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Give myself space, because in the end, they were not bad people. They were doing their things with their own childhood wounding as well, right? So I can't blame them. I was giving so much and now I was like, I don't have the energy to give anymore. And I was the one feeling guilty. I was the one feeling all of these emotions. And so now I'm like, you know what? I don't feel good because I don't feel like I'm a good person when I say no.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Yeah, it was toxic, but I need to leave for me. So that I can become who I want, who I needed to be. And maybe one day we'll reconnect. And because the thing is, the way I saw them was a reflection of parts of me that I did not accept in me.

Autumn Carter: Who is your dream client what do they look like? And then after that, tell us how we can find you and follow you.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: My dream client, obviously there are people who are very aware of who they are and are ready to own who they are and to own all the shit.. They're ready to have a deep look with it. Cause I go deep, I've done the deep work.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: When you come in my energy, there is no bullshit. We don't bullshit ourselves anymore. So and I can tell energetically how people speak. Whatever they say Oh, you're transposing, we don't transpose anymore. So those clients are ready for to own who they are and are ready to see themselves as this divine feminine masculine, whoever wants to work like this, because I'm learning to be in the receiving mode to be receiving more love and get out of my masculine energy of being the one doing, right? So definitely, I love women, working more with women because that's the energy I'm emitting as well. Whoever is ready to let the world take care of them, let their husband take care of them and step up, right?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: As we sit down and feel comfortable with our relationship with God, our inner being, then it's not just our husband that provides for us. The universe provides everything for us and everything is perfectly divine and guided and then if you're ready to remove The stress of having to plan everything of like, how am I gonna make more money?

Marie-Eve Mongrain: How am I gonna move now? Now you want to be able to allow because everything you want has been asked already. Now you have to be able to receive what you ask the universe, like the waiter is just waiting to bring you your order. But for that you need to be feeling safe in receiving it But you gotta stop with all the bullshit.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: Oh, he's still not doing enough. Then where do you still not see yourself as enough? Every time we blame someone or something, where do you feel like that about yourself? So it's my dream client, somebody who's ready to own who they are and everything that comes with it and to love all those parts.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: It's because it's they're not bad parts. They just are and just are there. They get triggered to be healed and to be transmuted. So if you're ready , to have your bullshit transmuted and become that divine feminine, we're in!

Marie-Eve Mongrain: And so to find me on Instagram. It's more, I do my life I share my breakthroughs my journey on Instagram.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So it's mariemongrain90. M A R I E M O N G R A I N nine zero. I'm also on Tiktok, which is Marie Eve Mongrain Perso. M A R I E V E M O N G R A I N P E R S O. I share some of the stuff there, too. If you check coachMarieEveMongrain, I used to be my account. I had 11, 000 followers on that one. That's where a lot of like thoughts and a lot of the inner work was there.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: There was a lot of debate and Coach Mary of Mongrain, check it out. I don't have access to that account anymore, but there's a lot of great things there that you can find maybe for your own self love and my website, Marie-EveMongrain. com. I have my podcast that I did last year. I have programs and I also am an influencer.

Marie-Eve Mongrain: So there's a lot of good stuff there that you can find. And all the other social medias are there.

Autumn Carter: Thank you so much for this amazing opportunity to interview with you. I'm going to enjoy editing this for my own self.

In the upcoming episode of our enlightening podcast series, we delve deep into a topic that resonates profoundly with many: "How to Have Thoughts of Abundance." This episode, set to go live on Monday, promises to be a transformative journey, exploring the essence of abundance in our lives. It's not just about wealth or possessions, but a mindset that opens us up to the infinite possibilities and joy that life offers. We'll uncover the secrets of shifting our perspective from scarcity to abundance, enabling us to embrace a life filled with more gratitude, opportunities, and contentment.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to enrich their life experience and elevate their thinking. You'll learn practical strategies to cultivate an abundance mindset, understand the psychological barriers that often hinder us, and discover how to make meaningful changes in your daily life.

To ensure you don't miss out on this valuable insight, remember to subscribe to our channel. Subscribing will not only notify you the moment this episode goes live, but it will also keep you updated on all our future content designed to empower and inspire you. Join us on this journey of personal growth and mindset transformation.

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Outro:

Thank you for joining us on this week's refreshing wellness discussion. I'm Autumn Carter, your guide through the seasons of motherhood, and I hope you found inspiration and valuable insights during our time together.

If you resonate with the topics we explored today and want to continue your wellness journey, I invite you to follow me on Instagram at Moms Wellness in Every Season. There, you'll discover a wealth of ongoing wellness tips specifically curated for moms like you.

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If you have a specific topic you'd like us to cover in more detail or if you're interested in a free coaching consultation, don't hesitate to reach out. You can send me a direct message on Instagram or visit my website, wellnessineveryseason.com, to send an email. I'm here to support you on your wellness journey.

Thank you again for being a part of our vibrant community. I'm genuinely excited to connect with you, hear your stories, and continue this important discussion in the weeks to come.

Until next time, remember to prioritize your well-being, embrace every season with grace, and always strive for wellness in every aspect of your motherhood journey. Take care, and I can't wait to catch up with you soon.

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