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Autumn Carter: This is episode 75.
Wellness in Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of motherhood and wellness in all its forms. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, a certified life coach and parenting coach dedicated to empowering mothers to rediscover their identity beyond motherhood, find balance amidst chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help mothers thrive both as individuals and as parents.
Hello, welcome to wellness in every season.
Sharon King: This is Autumn Carter and today I have with me Sharon King. She is a birth trauma therapist and also a birth educator. Thank you for being on with us. And can you please explain with us what you do? Awesome. Thank you so much for inviting me to be here, Autumn. I'm so delighted.
I basically work with anything to do with from conception through to pregnancy, birth and becoming a new parent. I specialize in helping people recover from their own birth traumas.
quite often there's a trauma that kind of happens afterwards. So that's what I do. I also teach students as well. I used to travel the world teaching and then we'll probably go back to that.
I also love to work with ancestral patterns. And even delve into past lives as well. But predominantly, I think today, we're talking about all the birth trauma stories and how you can transform those.
Autumn Carter: So you are meaning my trauma from when I was born, as well as the trauma for my four children?
Sharon King: Yes.
Autumn Carter: can you give some examples of people that you've worked with or your own examples?
Sharon King: Ooh, I have a choice here between my own story and somebody else's. Let's start with the first experience that I had working with somebody. the method I use, you can use it for any trauma whatsoever, whether it's a trauma from childhood or whether it's a trauma that happened yesterday or even today.
But I worked with a lady called Caroline, and I call her Chapter One now because she's Chapter One in my book. she was pregnant with her third child. Absolutely terrified of giving birth to her third child. And when I asked her why, she said it was because the first two birth experiences she had with two boys were exactly the same.
she had medical induction, which she didn't want. She had all sorts of medical interventions as the birth went on. And then she ended up, after she gave birth, having trouble breastfeeding. And probably because she was also in her own trauma, having given birth. after her experience with her first birth, the doctor, she said, I'm really scared about giving birth a second time.
And the doctor just said to her, don't worry, no two birth experiences are ever the same. And of course, when number two came along and that followed a very similar pathway to the first one. Then, of course, you automatically assume that baby number three is going to be the same as one and two.
So I use a technique called EFT.
So we did some tapping on her fear of giving birth and then we take the concept of EFT, which is the tapping on the acupressure points. If anybody's not heard about EFT before, it's also known as emotional freedom technique or tapping.
Autumn Carter: Points are tapping on the side of the hand, top of the head, beginning of the eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, the crease of the chin, and under the collarbone.
Sharon King: Those are the points that I usually use. And the concept is, when we have a traumatic experience, the energy of the trauma gets stored in our body. And if we tap on these certain points, they are meridian lines. So instead of sticking needles in these points, we just literally tap on them.
And what it does is it sends a frequency through your energetic system and with your intention and focusing on the negative emotion or the event that happened, then it helps shift that energy through your body. Okay, because most of us humans, we end up with trauma that is long lasting because we don't process the trauma at the time.
so Caroline didn't process her trauma at the time of giving birth to her first two sons, so she assumes that the third birth is going to be the same. The Other method that I use is called matrix re imprinting, and that concept is, it's like inner child work, where you work with your younger self that goes through that experience.
All right. So for you, for instance, if we were working with the birth of say your first child, you would go back in your memory and I would just say to you, okay, so tell me a little bit about that birth experience and you'll start tuning into that experience.
So the first point of trauma for her was having the induction and having to be had a strap, a baby monitor on her tummy. So she had to sit still. And everything in her body, her intuition was telling her to get up and move around and now she's stuck on the couch, on the bed, because she's got all these monitors, she's got this medication going into her body.
So the first thing we do is we have Caroline, as she is now, go back into her imagination and go back in time and she taps on her younger self, the feeling trapped. And also intuitively, she knew she didn't want to have a medicalised birth, she wanted a natural birth experience. So there was this disappointment that was going on Okay, so we tap on her younger self, we help clear through that energy, and then because we're now stepping back into this experience, we can change the experience. We asked the younger Caroline, what would she like, and she said I want to get up and move around. So we literally took off the baby monitors, and that pulled the drip out, and we had her moving around.
Now, the next point of trauma came for her when the midwife came to check her. And she said, oh you're only three centimeters dilated, you've been like this for hours and hours, you're getting tired, why don't you have an epidural?
And she said, I don't want an epidural, I want a natural birth experience. Yes, I understand, but you're tired. So there's almost like this little bit of coercion, we'll politely call it that, going on, until in the end she surrendered and said, Okay, because they were telling her good for the baby.
Anyway, it took about two hours for the anaesthetist to come to do the epidural. The midwife checked her again afterwards and found out that she was now fully dilated. And said, oh, you could have given birth naturally. So in that moment, Caroline lost trust in her midwife, because really the midwife should have checked her before the anaesthetist.
Did his work. So anyway, she gives birth to her baby and then there's a problem with the breastfeeding. So during the session, what we did is we asked the midwife to step out and a new midwife came in who happened to be an angel called Annie. And as soon as Annie came in, she felt her younger self just totally relaxed and out came baby number one. Luke was the first one. so Luke came out, and in her imagination, she's holding the baby in her arms, and she's doing the natural bonding process. So she's looking into the baby's eyes, she's breastfeeding the baby.
And usually that's one whole session, just doing somebody's birth experience, going through healing all the points of trauma, and then what we do is we go back and we do the birth how it should have been. But because we were playing, we were actually on a course at the time, we took longer, and she then went back to her own birth experience.
And she realized that she steps into that time when her mum was giving birth to her, she could feel the fear and the anxiety that mum was feeling.
Now, when you realize that the baby is able to feel everything the mother's feeling, but is unable to separate themselves from that feeling, so if mum's feeling fear, baby's feeling fear, If mum's feeling angry, baby's feeling angry, the baby doesn't have the cognitive ability yet to go that's mum's anger, that's mum's fear.
The baby perceives the outer world through the inner world, mum's inner experience, that's how the baby learns how the world outside's going to be. Of course, she not only was tuning in to her mother, but she was also tuning in to her baby self there being in utero and feeling her mother's fear. So we did some tapping on her mother to relax her mother.
We brought in the mother's own mother to support her because she also felt very alone because in those days nobody was allowed to come into the birthing room and support them. So once we got her mother relaxed, her baby self was like, yeah, I'm coming now. And out she come. And we did the bonding process with her mom.
So she's now going through that experience of what it's like to be the baby self bonding with her own mother. Now, when you understand that your brain, your mind, doesn't know the difference between a real event and what's an imagined event. So as she's imagining this bonding process with a mum, all those beautiful oxytocin hormones start to get released into the body and you just start to feel that love and that connection with mum.
So We were just about to do what we call a re imprint. So there's really great feelings, the oxytocin's flowing, we're feeling the love, we're feeling the safety, and I'm about to re imprint that picture, as in take that picture right the way through her body, that new memory, when she goes, oh, I feel this anxiety in my chest.
And then she said, ah, she said, I know what this is. She said, when I was born, I had yellow jaundice. And I had to stay in hospital for two weeks. And every night my mum would go home. She would express milk during the day for the nurses to feed her at night, but she had to go home to look after her older brother.
So what she was feeling in that moment, there was the angst, the separation anxiety came up. So we tapped on her little baby self and reassured her baby self that she was safe and she was fine and that mum was going to come back the next day because of course babies don't understand. They just know that mum's not there, they don't understand why.
We asked the baby what would you like to help you feel safer? And the baby said she wanted Angel Annie to be with her at night. Which I thought was so cute.
Because of course this is our imagination so we can choose things. But no, her baby self was like, wanted to be a little bit more independent but very happy that Angel Annie was going to be there for her. the next part of the session was working with her second son, Jamie.
Now, when he was born, it was exactly the same kind of process, the induction, blah, blah, blah. But the only difference with him was when he got stuck coming out, so he had to be turned, which left him with an injury to his neck. And at the time we did the session, he's about six years old and he's still every now and again goes, Oh rub my neck, mum, because it hurts.
So she knows that he has this ongoing neck issue, but she didn't realize until that point of doing the session that's where that pain was coming from. So once again we tap on the baby for feeling stuck, not being able to get out. We replaced the midwife with Angel Annie who more gently guided him to be able to come out.
So we go through the birth experience, how it should be, and then the bonding process. So Caroline is there just imagining, just looking in deep into her son's eyes and holding him in her arms. And we've done three birth experiences then, and we're like really high on the oxytocin, because we've gone through three bonding experiences together.
And I just get drawn to her belly and I just said to her, how would it be if we just showed the baby how the birth was going to be in the future? And she said, yeah, I'd love to do that. So I got her to put a hand on her belly and just explain to the baby, this is not happening right now.
Auntie Sharon is not a real midwife. This is not happening right now, but sometime in the future, this is how your birth's going to be. Now, she said on the journey over, she was already thinking and planning in her mind who she wanted to be at the birth, where she was going to give birth. She had actually found a really good doctor who was, like, specialized in natural birth.
She knew she wanted to be there.
Autumn Carter: How far along is
Sharon King: She's five months pregnant at this time. So she already knows she wants this man there, obviously she wants her husband there and she also brought in her two boys And I think she had a mum there too.
this is part of my process now You set up the room how you want it to be, where you want it to be, who you want it to be there And then you literally just in your mind you just go through the birthing process And she just showed the baby how the birth was going to be and also the bonding process So we were, like, super high after that birth experiences.
But after you go home, you forget about what happens and life goes on. So four or five months later I get a message to say that she's given birth, she's had the baby and she's had a little boy. So I message her and I just say, how was the birth experience? And she said, let's talk.
got her on the phone, she said, I want to tell you about all the things that changed after that session. She said, and then I'll tell you about the birth experience. And I'm going, okay, I'll wait.
I'll be a good girl. So she said, the first thing that happened is her husband noticed how relaxed she was, like all the fear had gone from her. She was just very relaxed and very confident. Her husband was a professional football player. So he traveled the world playing football.
And she said every time he would, the day before he would go away, they would have this big argument. And it would normally be her inciting this argument with him. And she realized that after that session, whenever he went away, she didn't have to have that argument with him. Because, that him leaving, preparing to leave her, was reminding her, subconsciously, not consciously, of her mum preparing to leave her in the hospital as a baby.
Alright, so something that we think is totally unrelated, will very often go back to our birth experience. So that's how it sets up these patterns in our life. So we call it separation anxiety. her son, Jamie, the pain in his neck, that totally went away. the relatives and the people who knew them said, I don't know, something's changed.
You guys just seem even closer than you were before. And she's going, Oh yes, I've just gone through these bonding experiences with the children. So her feeling towards them has changed. So of course they're mirroring back to her changed experience. And it's also become their experience as well.
And that's what I love about this method is that when you work on a child, back in that time in the memory, then it somehow changes them. And the same thing happens for yourself when you work with your baby self being born, then it changes how you feel in this now moment, but it also will change the relationship you have with your mother.
So then she tells me the best bit and she called her baby Archie. she had another boy after that, so I think she's going for her own football team. she said the birth was exactly like she showed him it was going to be. She said, not one drop of medication or anything, she said it was a totally natural birth experience, she said, and the bonding experience was just phenomenal, she said, no problem breastfeeding whatsoever, he's a very happy, content baby, and then she went on to have another baby that was exactly the same as Archie's.
So it was in that moment when she was telling me about the outcome of that session. that's it. That's what I want to specialize in. And then from that moment onwards I started to study the bonding process with what's his name? Chilton Pierce. I can't remember his first name.
Suzanne Arms. Just lots of birth, mainly American natural birth advocates. I started studying their work. And that's how I slipped into the space.
Being a specialist within this birth experience and also, of course when I look back on my own birth experience when I was writing my book I realized that actually I had my own birth trauma as well.
So that birth, not only my birth trauma, but I was also separated from my mum for five hours after birth. So I had to go back in utero and work on my baby self, who felt like she was being poisoned by her mum, because my mum used to smoke a lot of cigarettes. Of course, in the 1960s, when I was born, it was like, yeah, it's encouraged to smoke while you're pregnant.
So my baby self is taking in all that toxicity. My mum had pesidin at birth. So I was hit with a narcotic drug. I was coming quite quickly and then duff, I get hit with the pethidine and then everything slows down. My mum goes to sleep.
So I'm having to birth myself. When I come out, my mum said that she held me for a minute and then she went back to sleep again. So they took me away and put me in the nursery. So then I go and work with my baby self in the nursery and find out that there's other babies there all crying for their mothers and I experienced my baby self trying to get out of her body, out of the cot to try and go and help these other babies because she can feel their pain.
And I realized in that moment, that's why I do the work that I do today because I had that experience. I know what that feels like, and I know what it feels like when you transform it.
Autumn Carter: So much there, like, where do I even start? What a journey to how you fell into this niche, how you were called to it.
I always thought of it as abandonment issues, and as you're talking, I'm like yeah, I could see that with my own towards the end, but I was definitely thinking you mentioned my first, and that's where I have all the trauma, most of the trauma, is from that, where he experienced that after He was born, I was hemorrhaging for hours, I could not figure out why, I had a tear within my vaginal wall.
And, they were like, okay, we're gonna try and move you to the other room. And as soon as I sat up, and they were like, you're bleeding, but you're clotting, we're not sure what's going on. When I sat up, it just all gushed out and I fainted. So they called the doctor who specialized in high risk pregnancies.
And she has German heritage, but she's more of the petite German with the small hands. So she was able to find it. And I was whisked off to the OR, right? Emergency surgery. And my husband went from both of us being in the room to none of us being in the room because that's when they took my son in to check him out and do all those things while I was gone.
And so his first time nursing with me was. He had all the medicine that I had, so I can definitely see where there's a lot of need for that. And I was also thinking when you were talking about how we know that our body remembers the feelings that we've had, and even if we are, so take it, you're going to our past self, and you're healing that trauma, but what about when we imagine bad things happening, and we're just doing it to be prepared?
This is the way that I was taught growing up is that we need to do these things to prepare and I'm realizing I'm not the only one, which makes me feel a little bit better, but not quite, that our body holds onto that trauma, even if it's imagined trauma.
Sharon King: Yes, exactly.
Autumn Carter: What led you into coaching to begin with, to even go and do this course that you're doing?
Sharon King: That's a very good question. I always knew that I was meant to be doing something and to be of service in some way. And I always had this passion for anything holistic, so massage, reflexology, aromatherapy.
I did actually think I'd be working with animals because animals were my number one passion, or probably are still my number one passion. So I also did all the aromatherapy for animals and body work with animals as well, and animal communication. I've Always walked on the holistic side if you like, but interestingly as jobs I always normally had what I call a muggle job.
If you've seen Harry Potter, you'll know what I mean, a non magical job. I was working in an office and somebody in one of the groups, the animal communication group, said, oh, does anybody know what EFT is? And I thought I've never even heard of it. So I googled EFT And up came Gary Craig's website, and he was the founder of EFT.
I downloaded the manual, and I just read through the manual, and I just thought, That's a bit crazy. tapping? Tapping on your body? What? Nah, no. I rejected it, but kept it in mind. And then Somebody replied and said, yeah, it's amazing to work with animals with EFT.
You can do a lot of surrogate work. So working with the human to tap on how the animal's feeling helps the animal transform too. So I thought, okay, if it's good for animals, then I'll see what courses there are. So again, I put EFT into the Google search bar and Number one came up with Carl Dawson who I learned EFT from, and he was running a course in two weeks time in Scotland, which is, I lived in the south of England, so I had to travel up to the north of the UK to go and do the course.
Now, I spent three days on the course just watching what many people would call miracles happen. People were transferring their physical, Things going on in their body. A very quick example, a lady had a frozen shoulder and she could only raise her elbow up to shoulder height. She couldn't put her arm up above her head and Carl said to her how long have you had this?
She said, about three years and he said, what happened about three years ago? And she said, oh, she said that's when my, when I found out my husband had met a younger woman. And he said how do you feel about that? And she said I'm actually furious.
I'm, like, raging about it. And so he did some tapping on the rage. My husband left me for a younger woman and tap. And I've got all of this rage in my shoulder, And he did probably about three or four rounds of tapping around and then he said okay so put your arm up try, test out your shoulder, and she literally just put her hand straight up in the air.
No restriction, nothing. And if anybody's had a frozen shoulder, you know how miraculous that is. And she'd had this for three years. And it had gone just in, in that very short. So we call those one minute wonders, they don't happen for everybody all the time, but when it happens, it's just amazing.
When you hit the nail on the head, when you get the right thing to be tapping on then things just transform. It was then, like having done that course, it was like, Oh my god, this is what I've been looking for they say life begins at 40s, so I was in my 40s and it's this is it, this is what I've been searching for, because I just felt like I enjoyed what the other things I was doing, but I didn't feel like it was exactly what I was meant to be doing.
I flew home on the plane. I was so excited. Yes! I've suddenly found what it is that I'm meant to be doing in life. And it literally, just took off from there. And three years later, I left my muggle job. Became a teacher of these modalities as well.
My speciality was matrix birth re imprinting, so I would teach the students after they'd done the EFT and matrix how to do the work I do, basically working with these very early life traumas even from conception how we are conceived leaves an imprint.
It's part of our foundations of who we are that time in utero, our birth, the first year of life, it creates that foundation of who we are. And if we have a bit of a rocky start maybe finds out she's pregnant and goes, Oh, no, I'm not sure I want to be a parent, and I'm not sure I can cope, blah, blah, blah, then the baby's experiencing that.
The baby is experienced that, oh, okay, mum's not sure whether I'm going to be able to stay or not. I totally get it. Babies don't understand that it's not about them personally. And this is part of the work that I do, is when we go in, we explain to the baby, this isn't about you.
This is about mum and what's going on in her life and whether she can cope. And of course sometimes there's the dad influence as well, because men go into, can I provide for another child and things like this. So just something as we would think simple as that can have a lifetime effect on people, I know that I felt that way with my third because he was a surprise. Yes. We thought we were done with two kids. I had postpartum depression. I was just getting out of my funk. We were just deciding that we were going to be done with two kids and then it matches his personality to be like, haha, mom jokes on you.
Autumn Carter: I'm coming in. So grateful to have it in our lives, but it was a very big surprise. we were planning a trip and we were going to visit Scotland. We were going to the UK for my brother in law and sister in law's wedding. And then we were going to visit Scotland and some other places along the So it's going to be a big trip.
That was around when I was going to be due way too close to due date to go there. And then my husband's grandmother passed away right during that time, so it's couldn't have been timed out better? It, it is what it is, and we are so grateful to have him. And he has taught us so much, he has his own very unique personality.
So I can see where that has led up to some of the challenges that we've had with him. So that definitely makes sense. And it makes me think about my own with my parents got married when my mom was five months pregnant because she was pregnant and it did not last and there's abuse in there and stuff like that.
So I'm in trauma therapy because my parents and we do a lot of EMDR sessions, which are similar, but different. So instead of me doing the tapping, I follow a little dot on the screen. We do it virtually because I have kids. There's no way I'm going in the office. And reprocessing.
Okay. What do you believe? What do you want to believe and just reprocessing the brain and it's making me realize the more I'm learning about this stuff is how much the brain matters, how much that really is driving so many things. You can go to the doctor and get all these tests done and they can tell you something's wrong, but we can't figure out the reason why.
And a lot of it is because our body's holding on to trauma.
Sharon King: Yes.
Autumn Carter: And it's just, I forget the term that they sometimes use, where basically it's in your head, and you don't like hearing that, but maybe it is, and maybe it's because of something you have not processed, and so it's very interesting, So when you're talking about a muggle job and everything, I'm like, that's hilarious. I had to talk my nine year old, I had to seriously into Harry Potter, and now he's already I really and I'm like, I was telling you. We're only going to have him read the first three books and then give him a little break, because he's nine and a half.
That's a lot for him. He's very emotionally in tune with other people and emotionally sensitive. And very outgoing and just adorable, beautiful child, but he's very in tune with other people's emotions. He very much gets that from a double dose from between my husband and I, so it's really fun. So you get your calling when you're in your 40s and now you're led on this journey.
You do not look as old as you're trying to say you are, so I don't know that I believe this story. Thank you. I think that goes with you're living in Thailand. So they're a lot more about health, the holistic health for sure. So that definitely aligns with your lifestyle and your beliefs. And then I think there is a process of anti aging when you are living in your purpose and you feel your divine calling.
That is, So amazing. Okay, so I feel like, is there anything else that you want to talk about your journey and what you do?
Sharon King: I would like to just jump in here and just say anybody that's listening to this, the knowledge and understanding that you have now you didn't have back then. my favorite phrase is You're doing the best you can with the knowledge and understanding you have at the time. So when we're talking about birth experiences, everybody goes off in thinking about mainly women giving birth to their child and their birth experience and then they get hearing this going, Oh my god, have I damaged my child?
please do not go into your, you're beating yourself up. We have enough to beat ourselves up. And the other important thing is what you just mentioned is our belief systems. And throughout the thousands of clients I've worked with, I started working in 2007. the clients that I work with, especially around the birth experience is when you're put in a stressful situation, like giving birth, when it can be a traumatic birth experience Negative beliefs are the ones that are running the show. if you believe that you have to give your power away to people in authority, then that's what you're going to do. If you believe that you're not safe. then that's going to be playing in the background, I'm not safe, I'm not safe.
And as soon as you go into fear stops labour. And if you don't have a really good birth professional that is able to encourage you to yeah, you're doing really well, this is very normal doesn't address the fact you've gone into fear, and is there wanting to support you and coach you through the process, it's great.
But if you have the opposite type of midwife who wants to scream and shout at you and abuse you and jump up and down on your stomach to push the baby out. I've heard them, just horrific things that have happened to women in the birth experience. It's that, it's the emotion and the belief is always more important than what physically happens.
Okay so you mentioned that you had a vaginal tear but if we were to do a session the physical pain of that experience wouldn't be as important as what you were thinking about it and what you were feeling about it. As women I must confess I've not given birth it wasn't my calling this lifetime to have children because I've dedicated my life to helping people with their children or their own baby cells, but yeah, your belief system is super, super important.
And if you don't prepare yourself, if you don't address your fears. If you don't clear, or I like to say, please clear your own birth experience, because how you give birth is quite often very similar to your own birth experience.
If you've lost a child, you've had a miscarriage or a termination, then that is also going to be having an effect if you've experienced sexual abuse women are normally very highly triggered by the experiences they have in the, because it is a very invasive, not very caring situation.
Then that can bring up your violations, lack of boundaries. So there's so much trauma that can contribute to the birth experience. if you can clear all of that before you go into the birth experience Caroline did with her third baby clear the birth experiences beforehand.
And then when you go in and look at those, your highest negative beliefs, if you can clear those, then you're going to go in with fresh eyes, fresh energy. This is a new beginning. This is what I call my company magical new beginnings, because in every moment, we can create a new beginning.
And if you can go in with a more clearer idea on how things are going to be, then you've got a better chance of success, put it that way.
Autumn Carter: I just love the fact that we could rewrite our stories. Which, in therapy goes into a little bit of woo too, right? But there is some science behind it too Going back and working on past selves, like that. your past parts of yourself and whatever you want to believe, however far you want to be on the woo scale, if there is a scale.
Therapy also does some of these things too. I'm not telling you if you are anti things that aren't science, things that you can touch and feel that you should not do therapy. Try it out. Everybody should do therapy at least one time in your life. there is so much here that is very similar to what is talked about in the therapy realm, which is why you call yourself a birth trauma therapist.
And it's amazing how, I can see why it had to be very divine that you ended up on this path, since you did not experience birth for yourself, other than being a newborn. And it's very interesting to hear about your journey, and it's very encouraging, even if these listeners don't need this kind of therapy for themselves, just to have the, I feel like I'm at this certain age, and I still haven't found my passion, just knowing that you can.
There are so many people who have found it later in life. I went back for my undergrad. When my baby was, I think I did the math and he was 17 months old. I graduated with my undergrad two years ago, I started coaching a year ago, like you and several people have multiple careers
Sharon King: Exactly. You're wearing multiple hats because you're a mother you have your career, you're doing your podcast, in order to be whole. We have to have passion and we have to have joy in our lives. We have to do what brings us joy.
Otherwise, we're doing a disservice to the children because your children will follow your lead. So if they see that you're doing something that you love, that you're passionate about, then they're more likely to go for a career that they love and they're passionate about than they are to my mom and dad, like example, my dad just stayed in the same job all of his life and he hated every day of it We either go one way or the other. We either follow or we go the complete opposite and go, yeah, no, I saw what happened there. I'm not going to follow that one. But Yeah. There's no middle road, is there? Yeah. Ever.
No.
Autumn Carter: I think it's human nature that we pencil them back and forth until we're like, okay, I finally found my middle in this area.
But I love that you said exactly what I have been preaching. That we are the example to our children. They need to see us taking care of ourselves. And that's not doing a disservice to your family. It is actually making you, filling your cups so you can better serve your family. So you can better show up in the world.
So this is the reason why I chose wellness in every season. Play off my name. Season. Autumn. But wellness. All of the different, your whole self, all of the different areas of wellness. So thank you so much for being on.
If we want to follow your work, where do we go?
Sharon King: Absolutely. So my book, Heal Your Birth, Heal Your Life, is available on all the Amazons. It's also translated in a few other languages as well. My website is MagicalNewBeginnings. com and if you go to my website, MagicalNewBeginnings, with an S on the end, dot com, then sign up for my newsletter, then there's a free meditation.
for you. So you can go and visit with your baby self and just have a little chat with him or her. those would be the best ways, I think, just through my website or come find me on Facebook. I don't do any of the other social medias but Facebook is my number one. Oh, and I will be starting my own podcast soon called Magical New Beginnings podcast.
Autumn Carter: I'm excited.
Sharon King: Yeah, I look forward to chatting with you on that
Autumn Carter: Yeah, let me know when it happens, because I will definitely be listening. Thank you for being on, and I know we had such a time difference that we wanted to make sure that we could collaborate, so thank you so much for doing this.
I am going to talk to you today with my aligners in, so bear with me with my lisp. I had an amazing coaching session with Sharon a week after I recorded with her and it was amazing. So I wanted to add this in. right after our interview to give you an idea of the work that she does. As a lot of you know at this point, I have four children.
I originally were going in and we were going to work on the childbirth story with my oldest, but instead we worked with my youngest. I'll try to make this really brief because I know this is already a longer podcast episode, but what happened with my youngest is I was at a new hospital that was 12 minutes from home.
Instead of going to the hospital, we had our other children at because with our move, it was an hour away versus 12 minutes. Big difference, right? Especially with so many little children at home, it just made it easier for my husband to get home and take care of the three other kids, our dogs, make sure our friend who was watching our kids was doing okay, all that.
Everything was going great in the hospital. I Was on the Pitocin because my body ramps up and then it shuts down because of sexual abuse actually It's really common when Sharon explained that I think it was in our interview that she explained it She also explained it to me when we were talking just the two of us that is very common and it just clicked for me, it made so much sense.
Anyway, I'm on the Pitocin, I'm ready for the Epidural because I'm not used to feeling all these areas of my body that I don't normally feel that I'm dead into from sexual abuse. And it just feels like searing pain because I'm not used to feeling anything and then all of a sudden I'm feeling everything and I'm really feeling everything.
Anyway, getting in the epidural, the anesthesiologist comes in, and she's not able to get it. And she's trying to blame me for it in the end, when I'm sorry I had it just fine with my last three children with the different anesthesiologists. Problem's you. It's not me. Anyway, she's fishing around with the needle.
She's digging it in. I wish you could see my hand. She's moving it all around. Can't get it. She'll re poke, dig around. It was awful. I ended up having chronic pain for up to nine months after. Found out it was from spinal fluid leaking. Needed to do stretches to get it better.
Now it's fine. But the whole thing was traumatic. I'm trying to ask her to leave. She won't leave. My husband's asking her to leave. She won't leave. Finally the nurse is saying, They are both asking you to leave. You need to leave. She took her dear sweet time packing everything up and leaving. It was awful.
I'm here without any painkillers, I ask my midwife, it's my first time having a midwife, and she was amazing by the way. She comes in, asks her for some pain medicine, she gives me something that is equivalent to shrooms, it was horrible. I ended up having Mario Brothers playing with the music, everything. I end up pushing harder than I'm supposed to because of the pressure and I just want to get rid of it and be able to pass out. I tear worse with my smallest child ever out of the four. They end up needing to sew me up.
My husband needs to hold my legs, so they want me to hold my newborn. With my arms being floppy I was worried I was going to drop him So i'm missing my first moments with him when i'm supposed to be connecting because i'm all luby having mario brothers playing She helped me Rewrite that narrative, release the emotions, and release some of the sexual abuse, trauma, those emotions.
And she did it in a way that was talking about colors instead of emotions, which, because of abuse in my childhood, I have a really hard time labeling my emotions, but I can label the color. For the first time ever, I had somebody who understood that, my semantics coach that I work with. We have to Google what the colors are so I can actually tell her the actual emotion.
She didn't need the emotion. So it was really amazing. And I feel a deeper connection with our youngest son and with my husband through it. I still feel such a release over some of the sexual abuse and I feel more connected to my body in a healthy way. I don't have as many dead spots in my body around that area.
I just felt like an absolute noodle after our session together. Just, I'm really grateful that it was late in the evening and I was already ready for bed. All I needed to do was roll into bed afterwards, which was perfect because I was good for nothing else.
it was such an amazing experience that I would love for you guys to have this with her as well. So please contact her if you feel like you need this. She goes over, if you know your mother had a childbirth experience with you that may be affecting your connection now and you need to clear that, she can help you with that.
She can help you with your childbirth experiences with your own children. It is just such an amazing experience. I really recommend it. And I will be circling back with her to work on my other children and work on an experience that I had with our youngest when he was three weeks old. My husband was carrying him down the stairs and my husband fell.
And it was as bad as you're thinking. The cringe? Yes. So he has a scar from how hard he hit the staircase. My husband did not break open skin, he just hit it that hard. And our little one had a brain bleed, it's since healed, but there's a lot of trauma there. I could go into that story further, that's for another time.
It has been amazing and I made so much progress in one session that I haven't had in therapy or with somatics coaching or other coaching that I've done.
So highly recommend it. It was amazing. There are several things that I did with her that I want to dive into and learn to now share with my clients because it was so life changing for me. I hope this little end cap to the episode is very helpful for you and I will see you next week. Bye guys.
Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host Autumn Carter, a certified life coach and parenting coach Dedicated to empowering mothers to rediscover their identity beyond motherhood, find balance amidst chaos, Strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams.
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