Episode 83: Mindset Healing and Inner Child Work with Rita Yost

Rita Yost

Autumn Carter: This is episode 83.

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of motherhood and wellness in all its forms. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, a certified life coach and parenting coach dedicated to empowering mothers to rediscover their identity beyond motherhood.

Find balance amidst chaos. Strengthen relationships and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help mothers thrive both as individuals and as parents.

Autumn Carter: today.

I have with me Rita Yost. She is a mindset healing and wellbeing coach. And what does that mean for you and your business?

Rita Yost: Hey Autumn, so for me, being a mindset and wellbeing coach, I support women to reclaim mental wellbeing and self worth, and I do that through shifting limiting beliefs, shifting perspectives, reframing old stories, and I also use inner child work as well to go deep into healing.

 Past traumas, past hurts, and just going a little bit deeper

Autumn Carter: I the story with your daughter. Can you tell us a little bit about your journey and bring her into your story?

Rita Yost: Yeah, of course. So my daughter, who's six years old when she was six weeks old, she got rushed to hospital and then rushed to intensive care and then had to have life saving heart surgery at six weeks old. So she was born with congenital heart issues, which we were totally unaware of. So yeah, that was a big shock to the system, especially new motherhood and being a single mom.

But that really was a big motivator for me to really carry on with my profession. And really got me going deeper into wanting to help and support other women and mothers with their mental wellbeing. It was during that time, it was a massive challenge. A lot of people were like, I don't know how you did it.

You were so calm. you just got through it I just with this massive challenge that had occurred. And I really put that down to the work that I'd already been doing on myself with my mental health and putting my wellbeing as my priority.

 Because I believe from. my past mental state. If I'd been in that state, I would have been engulfed in fear. I may even have made about and why is this happening to me and though the world is against me and all these kinds of things that can come up. So yeah, it was a massive motivator for me just to really support and help them on their journey of just making sure that their mental well being's top priority and making self care top

Autumn Carter: what happened with your daughter is not what led you to coaching. You were already a coach before.

Rita Yost: Yeah. I had already started the journey. And then extra push. with my the benefits of it so much that I had to share it with other people and support women and let them know that they don't have to be defined by their experiences and their mental health issues and that we all have the inner power to be able to shift, any of the challenges or.

things that we can shift and change to whoever we want to be.

Autumn Carter: Can you tell us a little bit more about the inner child work? I feel like that really separates you from other coaches that I've interviewed. So many of us are life coaches. I am as well. But the inner work part, the child work, I'm curious about that.

Rita Yost: Okay. So me, inner child work really was one of the big shifts. Coaching all of it together combined, coaching, therapy, but inner child work, I really felt the massive shifts so quickly with myself. inner we connect with our inner selves. We validate our pains and our traumas without re traumatizing ourselves.

It's very important that we don't do that. We just allow ourselves to feel and be with. our experiences from the past, but at the same time we're building that connection with So we're finding our joy and our curious side and it just that connection with yourself and finding out who you really are is really powerful.

Autumn Carter: So it sounds like this isn't something you should try to do on your own. You should do it with somebody who is experienced and a guide,

Rita Yost: Because come up and there is, I say we don't re traumatize, but there are obviously some aspects of trauma that will, appear and come up.

So we do work through that. So yeah, it's always best to find support and do that with somebody who is, yeah, a professional.

Autumn Carter: I think you will have a better answer than me. I already have some of my own answers. Why is this important to do this work? if you're for people?

Rita Yost: Yeah. The inner child work.

So one of my main motivators for doing it was to break the generational cycles and patterns of behavior that we may be aware of, or may not even be aware of that have been passed down through the generations to us.

 The trauma goes so far back, we probably wouldn't even know where it started. So a lot of the time we're walking around having no idea why we're feeling a certain way or acting a certain way or reacting a certain way. And if we don't do this in our work, then we can pass it down to future generations, to our children.

 And for me, that was another massive motivator not to do that, pass anything down to my daughter. So that's why it was really even more important to do the inner work and the inner healing.

Autumn Carter: Tell us more about your journey. Tell us more about you, what you do. I support women to reclaim mental well being, and mental being is a massive part for me, so mental health, but overall well being.

Rita Yost: So I also do energy But for me, I had mental health struggles for as far back as I can remember. it was about ago I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. that gave me took me on the journey of self healing, self discovery and self responsibility as well.

I found it was really important. Once was aware of where I was at and what the issues were or might be. I knew I had to do something about it. And I live quite remotely, so the resources available to me were very limited. I was referred to do cognitive behavioral therapy.

 However, because the resources were limited, it just kept getting put back off and held off. And that was really a push, another push for me to do what I do because we have to have all the support and we need to use the support, but we also have to be the ones to make the decisions and take the action and really develop our self responsibility.

Autumn Carter: Sounds like this was not an overnight journey.

Rita Yost: That's why it's called a journey, right?

Autumn Carter: Yeah, no, definitely not. A lifetime journey, isn't it? I have trauma in my childhood and just realizing it is time for my whole life, just thanks parents.

Rita Yost: Anyway. Absolutely. Yeah, no, it's so true. And it's good to bring that to the table as well and let people know. Because sometimes we just want a quick fix, but unfortunately, it's not that easy, it's not like that.

Autumn Carter: I'm realizing as I've been reflecting on it that it is like a deep wound and there's layers of healing

Rita Yost: and

Autumn Carter: if wounds don't typically they heal a little bit on the top, but then they do all like from the base up right of all the layers of skin.

Rita Yost: And

Autumn Carter: if it's just the band aid and nothing's healed underneath, we know what it's like. We've all had that where we're, especially when we're kids and we're moving around all the time and then we rupture it and it starts bleeding all over again. That's what a trigger is.

Rita Yost: And

Autumn Carter: if we're not doing the healing, it shows up.

And if it's this flip a switch deal, then we're not doing the learning and we don't have the growth that comes along with it. That's my little silver lining for myself and my journey. And when I'm, I thought I healed that area, why is that coming up again?

Rita Yost: getting frustrating. I know. Yeah. I love that.

That's, yeah. It's all true. also believe that I thought I is it coming up again and again? And you get a bit, you can get a bit frustrated, but I feel that once we have, met the need of one challenge or one part of ourselves then as we grow and develop, we become more able to deal with the deeper stuff.

So more comes out and more comes out. It's like the onion layer, isn't it? And the analogy.

Autumn Carter: I funny. it's of a baggage claim. And it's somebody who's waiting for that one piece of baggage, but instead it all gets dumped on them. And what the writing over top says, I went to therapy to deal with one issue and this is what happened instead.

It's all the luggage. And I sent it to my therapist and she's yep, pretty much. I like that. Everything Things that you never knew were. An issue, or whatever, and it's because you've healed this area, so now you're more sensitive and that this other area needs work, and it's just, yeah you care for what you wish for, with healing, oh, it's funny, that reminds me. No. No, I was just thinking you were talking about memes and quotes. I've seen one on Instagram a few months ago, and it was about yeah, it just resonated with me and it was along the lines of, I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question getting tired of their own.

Rita Yost: And I just instantly I laughed, I smiled, because so true, like, when I look back at the beginning of my journey, that's where I was at. I was just like, oh, I've had enough of where I'm at, of what I'm feeling, or who I'm being. So yeah, it just resonated,

Autumn Carter: So you experienced a breakup during your pregnancy, I'm sure that led to a lot of introspection, a lot of growth, a lot of pain.

It you use self care and meeting with yourself. What else did you use to help yourself through that for any? Listeners who have experienced or know somebody experiencing something like this.

Rita Yost: Yeah, that was one of the hardest times I can remember. I feel like I felt it more because in the past I could numb myself with alcohol or whatever else when I was feeling a certain way or having strong emotions going through a challenging time.

 But when I was pregnant, obviously you can't do that. You fail everything, I fail everything. But at the same time, that was one of the most empowering things that I think I've went through at that time in my life, just because I was able to actually for the first time see that I can cope with, crazy and that nothing happen from it, even though it was painful and not nice.

 And it just helped me, yeah, just develop even more. as a person and grow. But I use for me meditation as a massive part of my daily routine in my life. I find it just centers me, grounds me, just sets me up for the day. Exercise as well is another massive thing that I use in my life to help me Just stay on top of my well being and feeling good.

 What else did I use, Julien? You wrote this four months ago for me, so you talked about the power of self care. Leading yourself where you are, healing to be the best role model you can be,

Autumn Carter: Tell me about last part, the develop the inner, stable inner foundation.

Rita Yost: Yes. So for me I feel aspect of our whole wellbeing. When I talk about wellbeing, it's that inner foundation. It's like that self worth, it's that balance within, and I know people might hear balance a lot. And I personally talk a lot about balance with my coaching.

 And to me, it's that inner self worth having the healthy coping mechanisms to manage motherhood and life. It's the inner balance of knowing you matter and that you're enough no matter what. Because for me in the past I hadn't had that. I had no connection no self worth. I just.

 Within a spiral. So finding that and developing that and that's what inner child work as well is really powerful for is just building that inner foundation of connection with who you are. And that way you can take on the challenges of life easier. strong foundation, I believe it's just, and I've experienced that life is a lot easier just to manage and cope and understand as well.

Autumn Carter: For me, what came up as I was thinking about parts work, how, this is coming up for you. How old is this part of you? That's part of the inner child work that I've done

for myself. use parts differently in my coaching practice. Eventually I'll have somebody where I'm like, okay, this tool will work for you, but I haven't needed it. Just if you, any of you have children, you realize how much they have their own spirit, their own personality. And we can go this life with these beliefs about ourselves that are completely false because our parents, our caregivers, life at a young age could have tried to make us become something different than who we naturally are supposed to be.

 And for me, it's really easy to see how that's happened. To me now watching my children and seeing that they are perfectly themselves and it's my job to help steer them in the direction they're already naturally going and to protect them from other people, from themselves. I have my oldest, he is very intelligent.

 And because of that, he lacks grit sometimes. If something doesn't come easy, he's Nope, I'm ready to try the next thing. And for me, it's reminding him that you are going to enjoy looking back on this when you have gotten through this hard thing. When you have learned this hard concept. Math, whatever.

 He's really good at math, but there's certain things where he hates showing his work. So I constantly, when the homework comes home, nope, you're going to show your work on this. We're going to develop this as a habit. You need to show your work in math, especially if you end up being anything like your daddy with engineering, you have to show your work.

So there's those type of things where if you have trauma that comes in even later in life, but right now we're talking about inner work, children, childhood. That it can change you, it can change your course. So doing this work helps set us back on the course we were naturally supposed to be on. That's what really came up for me when you were talking.

Rita Yost: Yeah, absolutely. When we have we're already on a self discovery journey, it becomes more apparent. The traumas that we may have or we may become more aware of things that we may want to shift and change so that we don't pass on to our children or anything like that.

It's sometimes it's overwhelming to think about all these things, isn't it? As a parent. But again, it's not to be too hard on ourselves either because. We are just all learning and growing and we're all doing the best that we can with where we're at and what we've been through I always loved the saying that you've never been exactly where you are now never ever been at this moment.

So I take that as great peace of mind that I won't have all the answers. And to stop worrying about having all the answers.

Autumn Carter: The one that I was thinking about, I am totally going to butcher it. Sorry for those who know this quote. But it's one of those, now you know better, so do better. You didn't know better before. And yours, what resonated for me is that curiosity bit. If you are staying curious and you're not judging yourself, so then you can learn the things that you need to.

 And I think using that quote of you've never been here before opens that door to curiosity.

 Yeah. there anything else that you want to share with us before you tell us how we can follow you and get into your world?

Rita Yost: self care and our mental and emotional health really is top priority for me.

 I know it can sometimes feel wrong to think like that as a mother, to put ourselves first because we normally are putting our children first and everybody else, which we do. It's just making sure that we have time for ourselves too, To be the models we can be, we have to come from the healthiest that involves inner work, self healing, making sure that we are feeling good, making sure that we're still being us as well as mother and Why for any other role that we have to play in life I just feel like important to make that top priority.

Autumn Carter: What I think about are, I'm sure you've met clients and met people in life that are like this, where they are so devoted to their children that when their children start to have lives of their own, they struggle

Rita Yost: in a hard

Autumn Carter: Some end up seeing therapists at that time.

what care of yourself all along the way so that you know yourself and you are being that example so your children don't then do the same thing when they're parents.

Rita Yost: Yes, exactly. And I, yeah, it's one of those things that's in my mind quite a lot and I don't know whether I heard it or just, I'm not sure if I had a conversation.

one day are going to leave you they're going to go off and have their own lives. So we must also have our own lives and not feel guilty about that we still have to be our own people as well And then, yeah, that's a healthy model for our children to do that, isn't it, for their future and their children and families as well.

Autumn Carter: And the other thing is I've really been, so I talk a lot about self care in my coaching practice, but sometimes it can feel like this. Concept that's really hard to grasp. And I think the biggest advice that I would give for self care is really taking a moment to tune into your body and what do I need right now

Rita Yost: and then doing

Autumn Carter: And if I can't do it right now, scheduling it in as soon as you can.

Rita Yost: Yeah.

Autumn Carter: What would your advice be towards that? How can you capitalize on what I gave?

Rita Yost: Can I yeah, absolutely. It's you need in each moment whatever that may be if it's quiet time, if it's support, if it's whatever, yeah, definitely just tuning into your intuition and going with that is really empowering.

Yeah, just amazing thing is if there's things that you want to change or shift, then you absolutely can. And taking little Sometimes I think some people we're looking for the big grand answer or there's this big grand, way to do it and fix things. But for me I've noticed that it's all the little things, like all the little self care, all the little bits that you do for yourself every day.

And, that's what all amounts to the success of getting to where you want to be and being healthy and looking after your wellbeing.

Autumn Carter: And I think if you are, then you can better verbalize these things for your children.

Rita Yost: What is

Autumn Carter: your body need right now? Okay, you're throwing a tantrum. Are you hungry?

You could have those conversations with your children and you will know what these things feel like. You will better know things from being that example. So I really love that you talk about self care as well.

Rita Yost: So you Facebook at r Yoss coaching, also on Instagram.

Autumn Carter: I am under r Yost at TikTok. At Rita Yos one. My website is Perfect, and I will have all of that linked in the description so you can easily find her. Thank you so much for being on.

I really enjoyed this.

Rita Yost: Oh, thank you so much for giving me the space and time to chat with you.

Autumn Carter: Thank you for joining me on Wellness in Every Season. Remember to take time to relax, heal, and be present. Next week, we will be talking about balancing effort and grace.

thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host Autumn Carter, a certified life coach and parenting coach Dedicated to empowering mothers to rediscover their identity beyond motherhood, find balance amidst chaos, Strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams.

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