Episode 87 Money Mindset with Prisca Benson

Autumn Carter: Welcome to episode 87 of wellness in every season today. I have with me Prisca Benson and I'm going to read a little bit of her bio. She is a money coach, which is the reason why I have her on. We had a coffee chat and really connected. So this is a long time coming.

she is a founder of our green life. Tell us about our green life really quick, and then just give us a little more of your intro.

Prisca Benson: Yes. So the origin and story of our green life was because, I feel like everybody's capable of living a green, which is like a, a positive, a fulfilling life.

And so that's how the name came to be. I'm a money coach. And what I do is I help professional women create a plan for their money that they love, and that also secures their future. So I want people to feel comfortable and confident when it comes to their money. And we create a plan that allows you to do that.

Autumn Carter: Tell us a little bit about your journey. Like, how did you end up where you are now?

Prisca Benson: So, I graduated from nursing school in 2011, and I made a crap ton of money mistakes. And I didn't think anything of it because, hey, we're just here to spend money, right?

We're a consumerist society. but then when I got married in 2013, and my husband, he could actually, like, do stuff with his money because he didn't spend it all. I was like, whoa, I want to live that kind of life. So then we kind of created, a life where we were more intentional about our spending, decreasing our cost of living, but still living full lives, like going on vacation and things like that.

And then, the next kind of trigger my journey was in 2018. I was like, you know what? I still feel like my net worth doesn't feel like a nurse, you know I want to learn more about how to make the most out of my money so I started listening in the personal finance podcast and learn how to invest intentionally and Literally that did everything like not even like stock trading just simple Like pick a fund put your money in there and keep doing it over and over and over again And so that grew my net worth by like Eight times in like six years.

Autumn Carter: So back up you said you're a nurse as well. Yes guys She is living what she's preaching. That is amazing Thank you. And so married listening to finance podcasts Helping health care workers understand their money. These are your passions. What else tell us more about this

Prisca Benson: Yeah, so what I found was in learning things about money, I was so passionate about it because I just genuinely care about people.

And I know people say that, but I really like the peace and the confidence I was getting. I was like, Oh my God, anybody can do this. I wanted everyone to feel that feeling like not feeling so hopeless when it comes to money, not feeling so awkward when it comes to money, not feeling Like, it's just something that's completely out of their purview, you know?

A lot of times, too, I come across women in certain groups where they're like, explain to me money like I'm five. I'm like, You're not five though, and you're very capable. So let's explain like a new skill, you know, like it's something we weren't taught and now we get to learn it and we get to be excited about it, but I want people to get excited about it.

Autumn Carter: Well, how many times in school are we asking? When are we going to use this type of math? And the answer is all the time, but the teachers don't really tell you that.

Prisca Benson: Yeah,

Autumn Carter: this is really important. And we're not taught in school how to file taxes, how to balance the checkbook.

How am I supposed to know which one's business, which one's personal? Yeah. And then, So I'll get vulnerable here. Got the tissues in case I get that way. But I have. Very conflicting stories around money that I tell myself and that I really have from my parents. And if I dig deeper, I'm sure it goes so much further, like generational.

And I am in a money challenge right now. And I had a journal about it today and I actually took the time and I went through every single prompt and it was, whew, it's interesting that it happened the day that we're getting on together. That was not planned. It was just, it wasn't planned by us at least.

Yeah. It was very interesting just seeing how much it conflicted. Like, my dad would save up money and then he'd just blow it out of nowhere. what they blew it on to was very interesting. it explains why I feel so much friction within myself towards money.

So I love that you took the time to uncover that for yourself. knowing that I still have so much of a journey with money, Exciting, but also kind of exhausting to think about.

Prisca Benson: I can understand that, but we don't have to complete the journey in order to have a good relationship with money.

We don't have to solve all our wounds in order to get there. We just need to be, the first thing we need is awareness and that's something you achieved. And then it's like, okay, well, while we're working on this, how can we improve our situation? Cause like you can create your new money story while you're kind of like digging through the old one.

Autumn Carter: And I'm like, I'm so glad I'm not doing that. Just realizing how addicting the phone can be. Right. Part of me was judging, but it was judging in the looking in the mirror, if that makes sense. It wasn't a window. It was very much a mirror. Oh, I see how much I do that. And there's times where I'll pick up my phone and I'm like, what was I even doing?

So it was nice to have that digital detox while letting myself uncover my feelings towards money. And just having that really big affirmation over, Money that unexpectedly came into my business and just, I can do this. I have worth and like really going through that and just realizing I can dig deeper in this.

And now that I have figured out this other revenue stream, I can tap into that more and not wanting to then go and spend it. Just like, leave this here, leave this sit. And it just felt really good. And I think having that time to let those. big shifts happen while we are unplugging is really important.

Prisca Benson: I feel like in general though, with what you're saying, like intentionality, it's just so key, you know, like with all of it, whether it's our devices, whether it's our money, whether it's anything regarding to our life and our mental health, even raising children.

It's being intentional and not just letting an emotion dictate what we're doing, but like really giving it thought.

Autumn Carter: I think that's so important because I was reading a book that's all about marketing, but he talks about how so much of what we spend money on is based off emotion, and then we justify it with logic.

And when he gave examples, I'm like, yes, it just was like, ding, ding, ding. That's so true. And we try to say that we're very logical beings, blah, blah, blah. But no, we're very emotional. It totally like, it was just such a shift for me.

Okay I see it where i'm coachy, which is

Autumn and Prisca: yeah,

Autumn Carter: it's very interesting. And I think it's important to have that connection between the two For sure. Agreed. Because otherwise you can get into that, if we're talking about money here, that like money hoarding mentality, like where we're afraid to let it go. I'm sure you've worked with people on all sides of that spectrum.

Prisca Benson: Yeah, that scarcity can come to play. So like even when people do have, you know, They have a strategy and then they do like amass money. It's like, they are so afraid to spend it, you know? So it comes like, you can't have one without the other, you know? Like you need to. Acknowledge the emotion and have the plan to put it in place in a way that makes sense.

And so, but you have to be ready for all aspects. There's a lot of growth that happens to as you're making these changes, that if you don't acknowledge the steps along the way, when you get to that end, what the end is like, that's when people are financially free and they're like, well, what do I do?

You should've been figuring that out along the way. that's what coaches help you do. So I just think it's so interesting. everybody who's not in the situation thinks they know what they would do in that situation. if I had that amount of money, I would be doing this.

if I had that person's life, I could do this, but nobody really knows. It all has to do the work.

Autumn Carter: I think that, another thing that popped up when you were talking is how many times Do you find people who are saving money, that they forget that they can then Or it's kind of like a yo yo diet, right?

Binge eating? Have you seen people doing that with money? And what is your recommendation for people who kind of binge save money? Or binge spend money? I don't know how you call it.

Prisca Benson: Yeah, I don't know that it has a term. But when people do that, the first thing I want to ask them is like, what is your goal with that money?

Cause sometimes people pick like an arbitrary number and they're like, I want to save this much. I'm like, well, what are you going to do with it? Because when you get that, it's not like your soul is all of a sudden going to feel complete. Like it's better if that money has a purpose. Like I want to have a certain amount of emergency funds so I can feel like if something happens, I can cover it.

Or I want to save for this trip for me and my kids, you know, like without that goal, without a purpose for it, it's very easy to like save up the money and then just, you know, trash it because it's like you didn't have a real purpose for it. And it's like you reached a goal, but with nothing to hold it, like, you know, to center it, it makes it easy for you to spend.

And so a lot of people too, because of that, they feel broke when you're like, you're very capable of doing this thing, but because you're not being intentional, like truly intentional about it, yes, you're able to save up the money, but because you didn't give it a purpose. Then it makes it very easy for it to feel like it disappears.

 So, I know that can be

Autumn Carter: so hard if you're saving up to retirement and retirement lifestyle. What is that? What number should that be? You never, it's hard to tell because you don't know what your health is going to be like and how much your insurance is going to cover that. My dad had me read millionaire mind, I don't know if you've ever, and it was very interesting him talking about that.

Because you don't have that crystal ball. You don't know what that number should be, and it's different for everybody depending on how healthy have they been their whole life. Have they been a long time smoker their whole life? Then they should probably have a little more in there.

You weren't squeezing one area to have more in another type mentality. I can't think of quite the right wording right now, but it feels like a healthy financial diet. it sounds like you are well rounded on making sure that you're not neglecting one area so much that you feel like you don't have enough.

Prisca Benson: Yes. And I think that's even part of what helps prevent that binging you were talking about. Because, I don't create plans for people that make them feel like deprived, like they're not getting enough. You know, we factored that. And it's funny because a lot of times when somebody meets with them and they put just what they think is going to happen, it's like, we're going to take out all the things that, are not necessary.

okay, there's a certain amount of things you can afford. let's look at this, which one of these things actually matter to you versus something you're just doing out of habit or just cause you're with your friends or, you know, some things that just come happens just being social creatures that we're not being intentional about.

if this matters to you over here, let's build that into your budget. that way you don't have to feel like, You know, you're being deprived of anything and then you could use your money to hit your goals. And that should include savings. Everybody needs to save.

People know that, but I feel like I have to say it because people underestimate the value of saving money. It's not to build wealth, but it's to provide you safety to make it a little more tangible for people.

Mothers, right? Kids break their arms. you might need to take a week off because your kid got sick, and some people don't have jobs that give them PTO or anything like that. Instead of, like, having to feel like, oh my god, the world is ending, like, I don't know what to do, what's gonna happen? By having an emergency fund, which is savings, you can cover those expenses.

because you give it a purpose of an emergency fund, When you go spend it on an emergency, it's not like it's going to feel like the best thing ever to see your money, go down, but knowing that kind of like having insurance, right? Like it's covered, it's handled like all state, you know, it's handled.

So the pressure that that takes off of you is amazing. Like who needs more stress? Like this is like, I've got this handled and I have time to build this back up, but for now it's serving the purpose that I created for it. I like that. It's so huge. and you can do that while you get your nails done.

You can do that while you get massages to take care of yourself. You do not need to completely delete one to fulfill the other.

Autumn Carter: And you can still pay off the debt along the way. I like that because you don't want to have to rely on your credit card for everything. Yes, it can be an extra safety.

You should not be diving into your credit card if an animal that you expect to go to the vet at some point needs to go to the vet. Or you're driving your car, you should expect at some point you will need new tires or you will need that oil change or whatever. So I really like that you spoke to that with savings because so many times we hear it,

Sorry. No worries.

Prisca Benson: I'm like, can you, can you say something without an example? Like just say what you see.

Autumn Carter: but as humans, we need to hear something several times.

Prisca Benson: Oh yeah.

Autumn Carter: I think it's like three to seven, I forget the number, but we need to hear it several times and in different ways for it to finally be like, Oh, I finally can grasp this thing because how many times have you been where I'm starting to understand it, but I don't quite yet.

And then somebody says something is like, I finally have that puzzle piece. It finally makes sense. So I love this

Prisca Benson: example too, because like, it wasn't like my husband was the first person I've ever seen save money, you know, but something about that click. My dad was a pretty decent saver. I have a cousin who's a pretty decent saver, like, but it didn't click for me until then.

It was like, for whatever reason, it just happens that way. So if you're going to be one of those people that hear it again, just keep exposing yourself to it. So that way it'll get a bit faster because time is precious.

Autumn Carter: And I wonder if, well, how much do we listen to our parents compared to our spouse?

That's true. or our best friend, or thankfully for me, he's both. I'm sure he did it in a non judgmental way. At least I hope he did. And that helped it click. As parents, we tend to be a little judgmental to our kids, whether we try not to be, or we do it intentionally. Sometimes it's both for me.

Anyway, I'll let you talk.

Prisca Benson: No, I was gonna say, like, it wasn't like, the thing is, when my dad in Saving, it wasn't like he was trying to teach it to me. And same thing with my cousin, too. I think there's a, and technically neither my husband. Is at the time, I think, you know, there's two things there are, there's the aspect of maybe it's not the right person sending the message, which is sometimes it's not your parents, not your family, maybe need to be a friend and other times the timing in your life, right?

There's sometimes in our lives that where our brains are just not open to this idea, and it doesn't really matter who sends the message. It's just not open to the idea. So I think at any given point with any big life change, any especially mindset change. There has to be kind of an overlap. And that's why I'm exposing yourself as much to these things as possible.

Cause maybe today's not the day where you're like, okay, I don't really want to get my mini crap together. But like, if you keep exposing yourself to it, then when it comes, when that overlap happens, then you're able to like use it. And I even think that with the personal finance podcast, I was listening to a lot of it, I felt didn't apply to me.

Like, I'm like, this is not useful to me now. Like in my place, in my journey now, this does not fit, but I want to know about it because I want to be able to know where to get it. If I need it down the line, maybe it'll be something that might be useful to somebody else. Down the line. So it's good to like keep that stuff around, but if we don't allow ourselves to like, we know money influences everybody and everything.

Nobody can avoid it. So continue to expose yourself to it. Even if you don't feel like you're getting a grasp of it now, you will just give it time. So I think like that overlap is where that change really is so impactful.

Autumn Carter: So tell me. What are a few of the things that the people you coach on are surprised by when you work with them?

 I think for

Prisca Benson: one, in terms of like pure mindset is the stress around money is just not necessary.

Most times, you know, like sometimes we just feel an anxiety because of an unknown and that's why creating a plan, like when I create a plan for my clients. It helps him feel so much better because just not like one of my clients, she actually messaged me the other day and she was just like, you know, I like this budget thing.

She was like, you know, it's good to know that when I'm going to spend the money, I know I have it versus guessing that mental work of guessing is something you can eliminate. every time you're making a decision without knowing, you feel a little bit more doubt, you're feeding more self doubt, you know, versus when you know it, like now, like when you think about going to make that expenditure, you feel more secure about it, you feel intentional about it, and then in general, you're going to be less stressed, because you know you have the funds to do the thing,

Like maybe I'm not, I'm spending too much. maybe I'm, you know, maybe I'm broke. Maybe I'm not quite, you know, like, you know, exactly what your situation is, which can be scary for people to have to like face it. But most of the time when I've gone to this, sessions with my clients, like they come out the other side, like they start off feeling nervous and they come out feeling relieved.

And that's always the goal. So that's one big thing. I think the other thing that, a lot of people are surprised by is how many ways there are to maximize your money without making your money complicated. some things that people are sometimes nervous to do is putting their savings in a high yield savings account.

It's just such an easy way to make more money of the money that the banks are making. So why not take advantage and find these banks that are actually giving out higher interest do something different. But then once you go do the thing, everybody who's done it, it's like, I can't believe I waited so long to do it.

Opening an account is such a small thing and it can make such a big impact from getting like 4 cents of interest a month to like 30 in interest a month. all these little things that, make people stall because they're so afraid of the next step.

It's like, no, let's just get it done. And that's that.

Autumn Carter: I think that is what is so great about coaches in general, figure out the one thing you want to work on in your life and then find the coach who does that thing. Yeah. Find several. Interview a few, listen to podcasts or like listen to their work, find out about their work, because if you're stuck on that one thing, they can help you.

If it's the same thing, it's because they've been there that they can help you. And it's amazing. I think everybody needs a coach of some type at some point in their life, because it really helps you get over that hurdle. And usually it's that stalling up because of the unknown.

So what am I missing that we wrote about?

Okay. So your ideal client, tell me about your ideal client.

Prisca Benson: So ideally I kind of work with most people who want to make their funds better, more comfortable. But my focus is especially on women because There's a lot of uncertainty, a lot of insecurity, a lot of just lack of confidence that women have around their money that I want them to empower.

Also women. influence so many people, and we share what we learn, right? So the impact that it has sharing with women, once they learn something and they teach the next person, they teach the next person, you know, it just uplifts us all. So it just feels very profound, and also the skills that one can attain to our children.

Right. Cause the children, they're observing what you do, you know? And even when people talk about money stories, there may be no outward thing that your parents said, but you observe certain things and they don't realize how much you were even aware of what was going on.

So if you can mirror good habits, For your Children, then start off a little further ahead than you did teach that to their Children. So in general, we're going to create a more confident society around money as a site is more open because that communication.

I mean, I think it's very important. The secrecy that comes with money. The shame that comes with money makes it so much harder for people to learn. So I want to break all that. So back to the idea of the ideal client. Now I focus on professional women, so that they can grow their money and feel confident.

Autumn Carter: So that leads me to a question that I did not have in our outline together. What do you recommend we do to help mirror good habits around money to our children? What do we need to be doing? I'm asking this question so wrong, but I hope you understand what I'm saying.

Prisca Benson: So to create good habits To benefit your children. especially when it comes to money is having this conversation with your children, a lot of times, what we see in parents, especially moms is trying to replace what you didn't have in childhood to give to your child.

things are very different from when we were kids, the expenses of things are so different and the incomes have not matched. colleges are so much more expensive, housing is so much more expensive. So by saying, I want to provide all the things that my children didn't have and that's the focus.

we give into a lot of things like, Oh, I want this. So you get, but you don't teach the child Hey, we need boundaries around money. in order to do this, we need to do this. knowing there's a logic behind it besides just okay, whatever we do also I think in having conversations about it include them in it, that way they don't feel like on the outside and like oh, that's not a topic for kids They're able to speak to it, And they can feel comfortable talking to you about it when it gets their turn to start managing their money They can feel comfortable talking to you because you were comfortable talking to them.

So it's not to say that we want to burden them with, if you have financial stress, that you want to burden them with it. But for example, let's say times are rough right now, and they say they want something like, listen, I want to be able to do this. However, with, our current finances, we're not able to do this, but hopefully in this timeframe, I aim to have that for you, you know?

So it's not quite like, Oh no, we don't have it. And that's it. you don't have to make a big fuss about it and be frustrated about it, but this is the steps we'll have to take. And you might even be able to engage them as well. Like, listen, if there's ways for them to make money or ways for them to help around the house, to make it easier for you to do the things you do, create more funds for yourself.

You can include that too. Like, listen, if you do this chore, that'll help me be able to get that thing for you. but just by giving and then just stressing about the money, it doesn't create good habits for them. So it's kind of long winded, but I hope that answers the question.

Autumn Carter: I love that. And that makes me feel a lot better about what we did. We were talking to friends of ours about going out of the country as a family and the friends joining us and our children nine and a half and six and a half they were both saying, well, why can't we do it right now?

I was like, well, we need to save up for it to start with. We need to plan it and we need to make sure like it's activities that we want to do. Teaching them like we have to wait for these things because even if we had the money for all the things, there's so much value in teaching them to wait.

Like, is this something that you really want? Are you dedicated to this? There's so much power in the pause, right? Before we make a decision.

Prisca Benson: For sure.

Autumn Carter: How many times have we been in the middle of going through something and we're like, I really wish I wasn't doing this, but I've already started.

So I kind of need to finish. And it's usually like when you're halfway through that you're like, don't think this was the best idea ever. Okay. How can we find you? Looks like you have Instagram, LinkedIn, and a website. Tell us about those.

Prisca Benson: So on Instagram, I was Our Green Life NJ, just because Our Green Life is taken.

And I'm from New Jersey, one of the best states on the planet. so I'm there as Our Green Life NJ. I also am on LinkedIn as Prisca Benson. That's how I'm easily searched. I do have a website, OurGreenLifeNJ. com, where you can get access to, the current offer I have. For those who are interested in learning more about financial freedom is the three steps to financial freedom guide and in there I kind of delineated just the three things that I did, like the baby steps of how I started to grow my network.

And the reason I chose those three steps because I feel like There's an overwhelm kind of in what it takes to grow wealth. And I'm like, but the first thing you need to do is just get started. So, what are the first things we need to consider? So like, first off, like, what, our current expenses, are there

ways to bring them down But there's a lot of things that we spend money on that we don't know are negotiable. There are things that, if we pay certain subscriptions in a year, it drives the cost down by a lot, but it does take planning in order to do that.

So like, Hey, where can we find the funds to do that, to decrease those expenses in order so that we could play things in full and save more money in the long run. So it creates like a little cycle. And then at the end with all these savings that you have, it's like, what do we do with it? Well, investing is how we build wealth.

That's how we build freedom. Do you have a work retirement account that you can increase contributions to? if you don't have a work retirement account, go open one. Like not a work retirement plan, but an individual retirement plan. You can, invest for your children's schooling.

You'd open a 529 for them. These are options that are available to you, but you just gotta do that little bit of work at the beginning. So that can be found on my website. I could even share the link with you so you can share in your show notes.

 And then I do one to one coaching.

So on my website, you see work with me, and then you could, check out what I do. basically I work one to one with people. Initially, you could just start off with a one off session that just kind of walks through your income and your expenses, which freaks people out every time, but I promise you at the end of it,

Everybody's happy. Great. but yeah, we kind of look through and see, is there any way that we can optimize your plan? And then we focus on whatever your money goal is. So some people, I've even had people like, oh, you know, I'm very good with my money, but they still find benefit out of it.

Because there's things that I know because I literally breathe this day in and day out, right? I'm like constantly consuming finance content. that's why we're here, you know To make it that much easier so it doesn't take you five ten years to figure out this thing And so that's the smart money strategy session I always love the reviews and the testimonials that come out of that because The impact is so long reaching that I'm like, wow, I'm so grateful to be able to do that with someone, do that for someone.

Autumn Carter: That's amazing. And if you want one financial tip right now, go call Comcast. If you have them and negotiate right there, save you money.

Prisca Benson: providers, just say you're leaving, you know, there's a strategy behind it.

Don't just make it as simple. Okay. Look it up this very good copy or like copy. That's such a marketing thing to say. very good scripting for what you can say. To negotiate, a better, bill to make it much smaller. And do that

Autumn Carter: every time your contract renews because it will increase

Is there anything that you want to leave us with for today?

Prisca Benson: I just want everyone who listened to this to know that they're capable.

There's a lot of women, especially that sometimes either give it off to like their husbands to take care of or their partners to take care of. We all need to be very aware of our money. We don't know when the person, even that we give the primary responsibility of money to is not going to be there. And that's not the time that you want to be figuring it out, you know, so staying informed is very important.

So even if you're not the primary person taking care of your money, know where it is, know where it's going, you know, like it's good to have money dates or money check ins to make sure that whatever plan that we have in place is actually what's happening, you know, and sometimes like this too, there's certain things when things aren't going so well, you can catch.

Right. Because like, Hey, maybe there is like funds are supposed to be going this place and it's not, but you wouldn't be aware if you weren't, you know, involved, so it's good to stay in the know, you know, you can only get better at it with practice, so you need to be more involved and there's great podcasts, great books.

Great. And I have all the, there's a section on my blog tools for financial success. I put a lot of those things there too, that make it simple for you to learn. And that way you can not only, benefit yourself, but benefit the people around you because we need to be talking about money more.

Autumn Carter: I love that.

One thing I thought of when you were talking is sometimes we have subscriptions. And our significant other doesn't know that we're no longer interested in it, or we're no longer using it. Like, there's money being wasted, so it's very important. And then the other thing is, sometimes it can feel like the one who's taking care of the finances has, like, the control.

And that makes it for a very lopsided relationship. So I really like that you spoke to that thank you so much for being on. I really enjoyed this. I enjoyed getting to talk to you again It was a lot of fun last time even though you guys didn't get to be involved with us. You guys got this one thank you and I will have everything linked for you guys in the show notes So if you're listening and you're interested Go look in the show notes, you'll find everything that you need.

 I hope you guys all got a lot of value out of this. I know I really enjoyed this conversation. And we believe in you. We believe that you are we know that you are worthy of Figuring out your money, like, worth and money, they don't have to go together, and you have worth, you have value, and we are rooting for you.

So, we will see, I will see you in the next episode, and thank you again to Prisca. Bye guys.

Prisca Benson: Thanks for having me.