Episode 94: Embracing Self-Compliments for Greater Wellness

Intro: 

This is Episode 94

Welcome to Wellness in Every Season, the podcast where we explore the rich tapestry of wellness in all its forms. I'm your host, Autumn Carter, a certified life coach turned wellness coach as well as a certified parenting coach dedicated to empowering others to rediscover their identity in their current season of life.

My goal is to help you thrive both as an individual and as a parent.

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EPISODE INTRO

Welcome to Episode 94: Embracing Self-Compliments for Greater Wellness. Today, we’re diving into a topic that might feel a little out of the ordinary but has the potential to reshape how you see yourself from the inside out. We’re talking about the art of complementing yourself—a practice that can feel surprisingly awkward, yet holds so much power for personal growth and inner peace.

In a world where we often celebrate humility, we can sometimes feel hesitant to acknowledge our strengths and achievements. Self-complementing might even feel uncomfortable or, for some, downright foreign. Yet, what if shifting this mindset could actually lead to deeper self-worth and resilience? What if the simple act of acknowledging what’s good within us could fuel our wellness and empower us to show up more fully, not just for ourselves but for those we love?

In today’s episode, we’re going to unpack why self-complementing is more than just a ‘feel-good’ exercise; it’s a vital aspect of a balanced, healthy mind. When we’re compassionate and kind toward ourselves, especially in recognizing our own strengths, it builds resilience and a stronger sense of inner peace. We’re essentially creating a habit of self-appreciation that counterbalances the daily doubts or criticisms we all experience.

Throughout this episode, I’ll share practical exercises to help you incorporate self-complementing into your life, even if it feels strange at first. Whether it’s jotting down a few things you’re proud of each day, or learning to embrace a small moment in the mirror with kind words, we’ll explore different ways to bring more kindness and recognition into your inner dialogue.

This is about creating a healthy, sustainable habit of self-recognition. It’s not about boasting or self-centeredness; it’s about allowing yourself to see your worth clearly and building a foundation of self-trust and confidence. Let’s start the journey of lifting ourselves up and allowing our inner praise to be a source of strength.

Key point #1: 

As we dive into today’s episode, I want to share that I’m still on this journey of self-complementing myself. It’s an evolving practice for me—one I’ve only recently started to embrace more fully. And the more I allow myself to genuinely recognize my own strengths, the more I’m noticing profound changes in my wellness. I’m trusting myself on a deeper level, my self-esteem is strengthening, and I’m seeing a shift toward more positive thoughts and fewer negative ones. I feel more creative and energized, and I’ve noticed a greater resilience when facing criticism or stress.

This process of self-complementing is becoming something I want to do more often because of how uplifting it is. It ties beautifully into the idea that most people aren’t scrutinizing us as much as we might think. Those passing, expressionless glances are rarely judgments, and if people are thinking about us, it’s often kinder than we assume. And if, on rare occasions, someone does seem to judge us harshly, it’s comforting to remember that it’s more a reflection of their inner world than it is of us. Often, those harsh judgments are rooted in their own struggles, and they project those onto others. Letting go of these external judgments frees us to lean into self-complements with confidence, knowing we are honoring our own worth and growth.

If you’re finding it challenging to get started with this, know that it’s okay—it’s a learning curve! And if you’d like some one-on-one guidance, I’d love to support you in a personalized 30-minute session. We can explore how to make this journey meaningful for you, helping you build that self-trust, positivity, and resilience that self-complementing brings.

Now, let’s dive into the first key point and begin exploring how you can start embracing self-complements in a way that feels natural and empowering.

Our first key point today is recognizing why self-complementing matters. For many of us, there’s an ingrained tendency to focus on what we’re doing wrong or where we need to improve. This focus on improvement isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but without balancing it with acknowledgment of what we’re already doing well, it can lead to a constant sense of inadequacy. That’s why the act of self-complementing is so impactful; it fills the gap by giving ourselves permission to acknowledge our strengths and the qualities that make us unique.

When I began this practice, I found it awkward at first, as if I was somehow “taking up too much space” just by being kind to myself. But I quickly realized that giving myself these small moments of affirmation wasn’t taking anything away from anyone else—it was simply building up my own foundation. And as I started noticing the changes, it became clear just how essential self-complementing is to wellness. It’s like watering a plant; those small acknowledgments are nourishment, helping us grow stronger and more resilient from within.

If you’re just beginning, start with one small compliment each day, no matter how simple it might seem. It could be about your patience, your ability to stay calm in a challenging situation, or even something as straightforward as noticing you made a good decision. These small moments of recognition have a ripple effect; they build up over time, adding a layer of trust and positivity that shifts your perspective, little by little. This shift not only elevates your self-esteem but gradually helps reframe how you view challenges, criticism, and even how you handle stress.

Let’s move to the next key point, where we’ll dive into specific strategies that can make self-complementing a natural, consistent habit in your life.

Key point #2: 

Let’s move on to key point #2: Making Self-Complements a Habit.

Integrating self-complementing into daily life can initially feel like an odd or unfamiliar practice. Many of us are used to our thoughts flowing in a certain way, often leaning toward improvement, critique, or planning for what’s next. But to truly reap the benefits of self-complementing, consistency is key. Shifting from self-criticism to self-compassion doesn’t happen overnight; it’s built, moment by moment, like a small stone path we walk each day, until eventually, it becomes the path we naturally choose.

One of the most effective ways to make self-complementing a habit is to attach it to routines that already anchor your day. Think of these as natural “checkpoints” that remind you to turn inward for a brief moment of appreciation. It could be in the morning, with that first deep breath after you wake up, or perhaps when you’re winding down in the evening, as you take a quiet moment to release the day. By linking self-complementing with a familiar activity, you create a ritual of self-recognition, where you intentionally acknowledge something about yourself—whether it’s a quality, a small success, or simply the effort you put in.

This can be as simple as saying to yourself,  “I handled that stressful conversation today with patience,”or “I followed through on my commitment to exercise even when I didn’t feel like it.” Small but sincere, these moments build a pattern of self-respect and kindness. Over time, this habit reinforces your sense of self-worth and shifts your natural thought patterns toward the positive, helping you see your own value as a steady presence in your life.

The beauty of self-complementing is that it’s subtle yet deeply transformative. The more we practice it, the more we realize that this kindness we extend to ourselves doesn’t just lift our spirits—it also empowers us to handle criticism and stress with more resilience. When challenges come, you’ll find you’re less inclined to take things personally or be thrown off balance. That steady voice of self-complementing, built over time, acts like a buffer, reminding you of your strengths, your progress, and your capacity to face difficulty with courage and calm. Even when the outside world feels chaotic, this habit allows you to return to a place of self-assurance, where you know your own worth and recognize your own growth.

Through this lens, self-complementing becomes less of a “task” to check off and more of a fundamental way of being. It becomes the way you speak to yourself, the way you hold space for your achievements, and the way you nurture your inner dialogue. This shift changes everything: it alters how you approach each day, how you respond to setbacks, and even how you interpret the words and actions of others. It’s like building an internal sanctuary, a safe space within you, where you can find comfort and encouragement, no matter what’s happening around you.

Next, we’ll move into a mindfulness practice that will deepen this journey, helping you connect with yourself in a way that feels supportive and affirming. Through this practice, we’ll work to ground these ideas, giving you a chance to truly feel the effects of self-complementing in real-time. Let’s move forward into this practice together.

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Segment: Mindfulness Practice:

For today’s mindfulness practice, let’s focus on the art of letting go. This practice will guide us in releasing any lingering negative thoughts or feelings of guilt that may have built up over the day, allowing us to instead hold space for the positive actions and moments that often go unnoticed.

To begin, find a comfortable position and take a deep, grounding breath. As you exhale, imagine letting go of any tension you may be holding, allowing your body to soften and relax. Let your breath flow naturally, easy and unforced, as we journey inward.

Now, gently bring to mind any negative thoughts or feelings that surfaced today—whether it’s self-doubt, guilt, or criticism. Acknowledge them briefly, without judgment, as if they’re simply clouds passing through the sky. As you exhale, picture these thoughts drifting away, dissolving and leaving you lighter with each breath.

Now, shift your focus to the positive. Recall any actions, qualities, or small successes from your day, no matter how simple or subtle. Perhaps you showed kindness in a conversation, took a step toward a goal, or practiced patience in a challenging moment. Let these memories fill you with warmth and appreciation, like a gentle light radiating from within. Take a few moments to savor each one, letting it settle into your heart.

If you find that nothing specific is coming to mind, that’s perfectly okay. Instead, take this opportunity to visualize the future. Picture yourself moving through tomorrow or the week ahead with ease and confidence. Imagine yourself embodying the qualities you most admire—patience, resilience, kindness, whatever resonates for you. See yourself handling situations with grace and feeling proud of who you are in those moments. Let this vision be a soft, encouraging presence, a gentle reminder of the person you’re growing into.

As you continue breathing, allow this practice to settle. Feel how this intentional focus on the positive brings a sense of peace and gratitude, softening the edges of any negativity or doubt. When you’re ready, take one final deep breath, letting it out slowly, and carry this feeling of lightness with you as we close the practice.

Thank you for joining in this mindfulness practice. Next, we’ll explore how this simple act of focusing on the positive—both in ourselves and in others—creates a ripple effect, reinforcing those qualities and allowing us to grow with intention. Let’s continue our journey together.

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Key point #3: 

Now that we’ve grounded ourselves in the art of letting go, let’s move into our next point: how the practice of focusing on positive qualities doesn’t just benefit us individually, but also creates a ripple effect in the lives of those around us.

As we practice self-complementing, we’re not only reinforcing a more compassionate and resilient mindset within ourselves; we’re also modeling a powerful way of being for others. This approach aligns beautifully with the principles of positive reinforcement, a concept deeply rooted in psychology. When we notice and affirm positive actions—whether in ourselves, our children, or our partners—we create an environment that encourages those actions to flourish. In fact, studies show that praise and recognition stimulate the release of dopamine, creating a feeling of reward that makes it more likely for someone to repeat the behavior.

In my parenting programs, we talk extensively about this approach. By consciously focusing on the behaviors we want to see more of and giving genuine praise, we reinforce those qualities in our children. Imagine, for instance, a child who receives encouragement for their patience while learning something new. That moment of recognition builds their confidence, helping them associate patience with a positive experience. And this doesn’t just apply to children; adults are similarly motivated by genuine acknowledgment and reinforcement, which helps them feel seen, valued, and motivated to continue growing.

When we bring this principle back to ourselves, it transforms how we view our own growth. Instead of dwelling on our perceived flaws or shortcomings, we’re learning to notice and praise our own efforts, strengths, and progress. This shift from self-criticism to self-encouragement helps us see ourselves in a kinder light, strengthening our self-esteem and allowing us to approach each day with greater confidence.

As we continue building this practice, both in self-complementing and in recognizing the positives in those around us, we’re cultivating a more compassionate, encouraging environment—one that naturally invites growth, connection, and positivity. Over time, this approach not only nurtures our well-being but also supports and uplifts those around us, creating a ripple effect that reinforces a culture of kindness and self-worth.

Incorporating these small moments of praise and recognition into your daily life doesn’t need to be complicated. It can be as simple as noticing one thing you did well, sharing a word of appreciation with a loved one, or even just pausing to reflect on the goodness in yourself and others. These intentional acts, however small, add up and shape the environment in which we live and grow.

Now, as we close this section, I encourage you to bring this awareness with you into tomorrow. Look for the qualities in yourself and in others that you want to encourage, and see how acknowledging these moments shapes your perspective. And if this is something you’d like to explore more deeply, remember that you can always reach out for a one-on-one session where we can work through these practices together.

Thank you for joining me in this exploration of positive reinforcement and the art of self-complementing. Let’s keep moving forward, building a life where we uplift both ourselves and those around us.

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Welcome, dear one. Have you ever felt like your days blur into an endless series of tasks, leaving you longing for moments that nurture both your soul and your family? I understand. You’re more than just the center of your home; you’re deserving of a life that nourishes your well-being and enriches your spirit, just like you.

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Self-care is a cornerstone of my approach. Together, we'll discover what true self-care means for you, making it a solid foundation of your daily routine. We'll also focus on making and keeping promises to yourself, fostering a sense of trust and confidence in your ability to honor your own needs and aspirations. All of this happens within a supportive community of like-minded individuals, each on their own path to transformation.

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Key point #5

Welcome back! I hope you found that moment refreshing. Before we dive into our next key point, I want to take a quick moment to say that the best way you can support me and this podcast is by purchasing one of my programs, signing up for one-on-one coaching, and, of course, sharing this show with others. Your support allows me to continue creating valuable content that empowers each of us to live more fully and embrace wellness in every season of life. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.

Now, let’s dive into our next key point: Preparing Yourself for the Day with Intention.

Setting the tone for the day with intention is a powerful way to carry the benefits of self-complementing into our waking hours. Just as we practiced letting go of the negative and holding onto the positive, this approach can also set us up for a day filled with purpose, calm, and confidence. In fact, one of the most effective ways to integrate self-complementing into your morning is to visualize the day ahead and see yourself moving through it with ease. Visualizing our day not only primes our mind to look for moments of success and joy but also equips us to handle any challenges with resilience and grace.

Take a few minutes each morning—perhaps while enjoying your lemon water or green smoothie—to picture yourself in various situations you anticipate that day. Imagine yourself approaching each task with confidence, handling any stressors with calm, and recognizing your efforts along the way. Even if the day ahead feels daunting, visualizing yourself moving through it positively can help ease any anxiety and bolster your confidence, priming your mind to embrace the day’s events with an open and empowered heart.

In this way, you’re creating a mental roadmap for a positive day. It’s like planting seeds in the morning that bloom throughout the day, offering you a foundation of self-support and strength to draw upon. And, just like self-complementing, this practice can become a habit that transforms how you experience each day, helping you move through life with a greater sense of purpose, wellness, and joy.

By setting this intention and starting your day in this way, you’re giving yourself the best possible start—a moment of connection with yourself and a chance to align with the person you want to be. Let’s continue exploring how these practices can elevate each day, helping you feel more grounded, confident, and ready to embrace whatever life brings.

Key point #6: 

Our final key point today is Cultivating Self-Awareness Through Reflection.

Self-complementing and intentional practices like visualization bring us closer to understanding ourselves—our strengths, values, and even our areas for growth. Yet, to truly make the most of these practices, we need to create space for reflection. Reflection is a powerful tool that not only helps us appreciate our journey but also builds self-awareness, enabling us to recognize the progress we’ve made and the areas we’d like to nurture further.

At the end of each day, spend a few moments reflecting on what you felt proud of and what felt challenging. Ask yourself: Where did I surprise myself? Where did I show resilience or kindness, and how did I support my wellness today? These reflections are an opportunity to connect deeply with yourself, to notice patterns in your thoughts and behaviors, and to acknowledge the positive strides you’ve made. It’s less about critiquing yourself and more about gaining insight, which allows you to make intentional choices moving forward.

This practice of reflection strengthens our ability to grow through self-compassion rather than self-criticism. Instead of seeing “mistakes” as failures, we can view them as teachers, pointing us toward areas where we can be kinder to ourselves, more intentional in our actions, or even more mindful in our interactions with others. Reflection opens the door to transformation, not through harsh judgment, but through gentle self-awareness.

In this way, self-complementing, visualization, and reflection create a loop of self-empowerment. When we recognize our progress and encourage our strengths, we foster a cycle of growth, reinforcing positive behaviors that bring us closer to the best versions of ourselves. And with this foundation, we’re better equipped to handle the uncertainties of life with a resilient, compassionate mindset.

As near the end, I invite you to bring this spirit of reflection with you each evening. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy process—just a few minutes to appreciate the day, recognize your strengths, and set intentions for tomorrow. Reflection, when done regularly, can be a beautiful end to the day, bringing a sense of closure and gratitude that nurtures our well-being.

Now, let’s move into our coaching questions, where I’ll guide you to deepen these practices in your own life and create a foundation for ongoing growth and self-discovery.

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Segment: Coaching Questions

Here are ten coaching questions designed to deepen your journey into self-complementing, visualization, and reflection, helping you build a foundation of self-awareness and personal growth:

1. 1. What is one compliment you can give yourself today that genuinely feels true? 

2. How does acknowledging this make you feel?

3. Reflect on a recent challenging situation. What positive qualities did you demonstrate in handling it, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect?

4. If you were to visualize an ideal day, what qualities or strengths would you want to embody throughout that day? 

5. How can you start bringing those qualities into your daily routine?

6. What daily or weekly ritual could you create to practice self-complementing consistently? 

7. How can you incorporate it in a way that feels natural and supportive?

8. When you think about negative thoughts that tend to linger, what might be one way to gently let go of them?

9.  How would it feel to replace them with something positive?

10. As you reflect on your journey so far, what is one quality or strength that you’d like to nurture even more? 

11. What’s a small step you could take today to support this?

These questions are crafted to encourage gentle introspection and action, helping you engage with these practices on a deeper, more intentional level. Each question opens the door for greater self-awareness, allowing you to cultivate kindness toward yourselves and nurture a growth-focused mindset.

CLOSING REMARKS & EPISODE SUMMARY

Episode summary:

As we come to the close of this episode, I want to thank you for joining me in this journey of self-complementing, visualization, and reflection. These practices are more than just tools—they’re invitations to connect with yourself in a meaningful way, to honor your strengths, and to foster a compassionate, supportive inner world.

Remember, the journey of self-growth is ongoing, and each small step you take adds up. Self-complementing isn’t about perfection; it’s about learning to embrace who you are, moment by moment. When you visualize your day with intention, you’re setting yourself up for success, aligning with the best version of yourself. And when you make time for reflection, you’re nurturing self-awareness and growth, allowing you to see how far you’ve come and where you’d like to go.

As you continue forward, I encourage you to hold these practices close. Notice the positive moments, both in yourself and in those around you. Take time to acknowledge your own growth, and let this act of self-recognition be a foundation for resilience, confidence, and joy.

If you’re ready to explore these concepts on a deeper, more personal level, I’d love to support you in a one-on-one session. Together, we can tailor these practices to fit your unique life, building a toolkit for well-being and personal growth. And as always, sharing this podcast with others who might benefit is one of the best ways you can support this journey, allowing us to continue creating valuable content together.

Thank you for being here, for embracing this journey of wellness in every season of life. I look forward to joining you again in the next episode, where we’ll continue exploring paths to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Until then, take care of yourself, and remember to celebrate the unique, wonderful person you are.

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Outro: 

Thank you for joining me on Wellness in Every Season. Remember to take time to relax, heal, and be present. Next week, we will be talking about Spiritual Recovery with Jennifer McCutchen

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode. I am your host, Autumn Carter, a certified life coach dedicated to empowering individuals to rediscover their identity, find balance amidst chaos, strengthen relationships, and pursue their dreams. My goal is to help people thrive in every aspect of their lives. I hope today's discussion inspired you and offered valuable insights.

Stay engaged with our wellness community by signing up for my newsletter at wellnessineveryseason.com/free-resources. When you join, you'll have the option to receive a five-day guide called Awaken and Unwind: Five Days to Mastering Your Mornings and Evenings, along with free guides, special offers on my programs, practical tips, personal stories, and much more by signing up for both offers on the page.

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Thank you for being a part of our podcast community. I look forward to continuing our conversation, sharing stories, and exploring wellness in all its aspects. Take care until our next episode. You can also work with me one-on-one or on-demand through one of my programs by visiting wellnessineveryseason.com/programs.

One last thing to cover the show legally. I am a certified life coach giving general advice. So think of this more like a self-help book. This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I am not a licensed therapist. So this podcast shouldn't be taken as a replacement for professional guidance from a doctor or therapist. If you want personal one-on-one coaching from a certified life and parenting coach, Go to my website, wellnessineveryseason.com. That's where you can get personalized coaching from me.

See you in next week's episode.